Last updated: 26/09/2024
No matter how many first dates you’ve been on in your life, they can still leave you feeling like a teenager going on a date with your crush again. Although this might be endearing to some, it can feel embarrassing to others, so you need some expert first-date tips to help you up your game!
As dating experts, our team has learned what works and what doesn’t over the years, so we’ve condensed their best bits of advice below.
This handy guide is full of first-date tips for men and first-date tips for women, as well as plenty of ideas for things to do on a first date, so you can make your next first date your last (in a good way!).
Finding The One’s Top 10 First Date Advice
We’ve filtered our team’s first date rules to separate all the chaff from the juicy wheat you need to create the perfect hearty first date that leads to a second date and beyond!
1) Don’t Over-plan the Date
Planning your first date can be a real lifesaver, helping you avoid those awkward “what do we do now?” moments. However, overplanning your first date can create unnecessary pressure and eliminate the element of spontaneity.
It’s a good idea to keep things flexible and just roll with it, letting the conversation and shared interests shape what you do. This way, you create a chill vibe and leave space for unexpected fun moments and genuine connections.
Being adaptable shows you’re thoughtful and ready to enjoy the moment, making the whole experience better for both you and your date.
2) Keep Pre-Date Texting to a Minimum
We’re not suggesting that you ghost your date once you’ve set a time and date – that would be silly! We’re just suggesting you save some interesting and important topics for when you meet in person.
To keep things flirty and fun without exhausting your first-date conversation, focus on light-hearted banter and playful teasing.
Compliments, emojis, or sharing jokes can create a connection without diving into too detailed discussions. Keep it brief and intriguing to build anticipation for your in-person meeting.
3) Prepare Some First Date Conversation Topics
Speaking of first-date conversation topics, imagining a date filled with awkward silences is one of the biggest causes of pre-date anxiety for a lot of daters.
To avoid these nightmare moments, it’s a good idea to go into the date with a few topics in mind that you can bring up when the conversation lulls.
| Some great first-date conversation topics include… 1. Movies & TV Shows: Discover shared favourites for lively chats and future movie nights. 2. Hobbies: Talk about pastimes to find common interests and date ideas. 3. Travel: Share holiday stories and dream destinations for adventurous talks. 4. Music: Bond over favourite genres, bands, and concerts. 5. Books: Discuss favourite reads for insights into each other’s personalities. 6. Food: Chat about favourite dishes and restaurants for foodie adventures. 7. Pets: Share pet stories for a delightful connection. |
Although you might think you have to steer clear of potentially divisive topics like current affairs, this isn’t a hard and fast rule, so if there’s something in the news you’re passionate about, feel free to bring it up. Just remember not to get too heated and derail the romance of the date.
4) Practice Active Listening to Learn About Your Date
Active listening is crucial on a first date as it fosters genuine connections and helps you understand your date better.
By actively listening, you’re not just hearing words; you’re tuning into the emotions and thoughts behind them. It shows you value their opinions, making them feel special.
By focusing on what your date says, maintaining eye contact, and responding thoughtfully, you’ll learn about their interests, passions, and values. This is essential for finding common ground.
Plus, active listening makes conversations flow more smoothly, allowing you to engage with topics they enjoy.
Being a good listener sets you apart, especially when attentiveness is rare but attractive.
| Active Listening Active listening is the practice of fully concentrating, understanding, responding, and remembering what is being said in a conversation. It involves giving your full attention to the speaker, maintaining eye contact, and responding appropriately, ensuring that the speaker feels heard and valued. |
5) Make a Strong First Impression
Making a strong first impression on a first date is crucial because it sets the tone for the entire relationship.
A positive initial interaction builds attraction and trust, making your date more likely to want to see you again. It signals you’re genuinely interested and invested in getting to know them, which can leave a lasting impact and pave the way for deeper connections.
| Some of the best ways to make a strong first impression are… 1. Be Polite & Courteous: Good manners go a long way; remember to say please and thank you. 2. Show Genuine Interest: Ask questions and show that you’re interested in getting to know your date. 3. Be Confident, Not Arrogant: Confidence is attractive, but make sure it doesn’t come across as cockiness. 4. Maintain Good Hygiene: Fresh breath, clean hands, and a pleasant fragrance make a big difference. 5. Smile & Make Eye Contact: These simple gestures can make you seem more approachable and friendly. 6. Stay Positive: Keep the conversation upbeat and focus on positive topics. |
6) Give Genuine, Thoughtful Compliments
Giving genuine, thoughtful compliments on your first date is key to building positivity and respect.
When you really mean a compliment, it shows you’re paying attention and appreciating something unique about them. This can make your date feel valued and boost their confidence, creating a warm vibe.
Thoughtful compliments go beyond surface-level remarks and focus on deeper things, like their interests, achievements, or personality traits. It shows you’re truly interested in getting to know them, which can strengthen your connection and lead to a more meaningful relationship.
| Top Tip: If you’re unsure about giving a compliment based on their physical appearance, stick to complimenting their outfit, accent, or something they say or do throughout the night. |
7) Ask Interesting Questions on a First Date
Asking interesting questions on a first date, instead of the usual boring ones, can really change how the evening goes.
Thought-provoking questions can spark engaging conversations and help both you and your date reveal more about your personalities, interests, and experiences. This way, you might discover common passions and unique perspectives, which can lead to a stronger connection.
Generic questions like “What do you do?” or “Where are you from?” usually lead to rehearsed, superficial answers that don’t really give you a true sense of who the other person is.
But asking something like “What’s an experience that has profoundly shaped you?” or “If you could travel anywhere, where would you go and why?” can lead to more authentic and heartfelt discussions.
These questions show you’re genuinely interested in getting to know them beyond the surface, making the date memorable and setting a positive tone for any future interactions.
8) Be Aware of Your Body Language
Paying attention to your body language is key because it says way more than words ever could.
Things like an open posture, eye contact, and genuine smiles show you’re interested and involved, making your date feel appreciated and at ease.
On the flip side, crossing your arms or avoiding eye contact can unintentionally make you seem disinterested or impatient.
By being mindful of your body language, you make sure you’re coming across as warm, attentive, and sincere.
9) Be True to Yourself
Being yourself on a date helps create a real connection because it lets your true personality shine. When you’re genuine, it encourages your date to be themselves, too, leading to a more honest and meaningful interaction.
If you pretend to be someone else, it might give a false impression and mess up long-term compatibility.
Being authentic builds trust and shows confidence, making the date more fun and setting the stage for a deeper, more genuine relationship.
10) Try Not to Stress Unnecessarily
It’s normal to be excited and nervous about a first date, but stressing unnecessarily can ruin the experience and lead to a bad date. Focus instead on enjoying the moment and being present.
Remember, your date is likely feeling the same way. Relax, be yourself, play it cool, and embrace the excitement – it’ll make the date more enjoyable for both of you.
First Date Etiquette Rules
Of course, you can prepare for your date in advance as much as you want, but what you do on the date is just as important, if not more so.
A well-planned date is appreciated, but messing up the etiquette rules can undo all your hard work.
1) Always Be Punctual on a First Date
Showing up on time for a first date is a great way to show respect and consideration for your date’s time.
It shows you value them and are excited to get to know them. Being punctual sets a positive vibe for the evening, easing any nerves and starting things off smoothly.
On the flip side, being late can leave a bad first impression and might make you seem unreliable or uninterested.
2) Dress Appropriately for the First Date Activity
Dressing appropriately for a first date depends largely on the activity you’ve planned.
Ensuring your outfit is suitable for the occasion shows thoughtfulness and respect for both the activity and your date.
| Date Type | Outfit Ideas |
| Casual Outings | Jeans or chinos, a nice top or shirt, comfortable shoes, a light jacket or sweater |
| Dinner Date | Collared shirt and trousers or smart jeans for men, dress, skirt and blouse, or smart trousers and top for women |
| Outdoor Activities | Moisture-wicking, breathable fabrics, appropriate footwear, hat, sunglasses, sunscreen |
| Cultural Events | Smart-casual outfits, such as blazers, blouses, dark wash jeans, and comfortable yet stylish footwear |
Ultimately, the key is to ensure your attire reflects the nature of the date while allowing you to feel confident and comfortable.
By thoughtfully selecting your outfit, you’ll make a positive impression and be free to enjoy the experience.
3) Put Away Your Phone & Leave it Away!
Putting your phone away when a date starts shows respect and that you’re really paying attention to your companion. It’s a way of saying you value being with them and want to get to know them without any distractions.
Constantly checking your phone can come off as rude and uninterested, which can mess up the connection you’re trying to build.
By keeping your phone out of sight, you create a more intimate vibe, making it easier to chat and have a meaningful experience.
4) To Drink or Not to Drink?
Having some Dutch courage is a popular way to alleviate those first-date jitters, but this isn’t the time to get wasted, and there are some social guidelines you should try to follow.
If you’re planning to have a drink, be mindful of how much you consume. You don’t want to get too tipsy or drunk on a first date, as it can lead to poor decision-making and may create an awkward situation.
It’s also important to clarify beforehand who is paying for drinks so there’s no confusion when the bill comes around.
If you’re not up for drinking or your date doesn’t drink, there are plenty of other options available. You could order non-alcoholic mocktails or opt for water or soda instead.
This shows that you’re open-minded and willing to adapt to your date’s preferences.
Ultimately, the most important thing is to respect your own boundaries and make sure you’re comfortable with whatever decision you make about alcohol on a first date.
5) Mind Your Manners
Basic manners can go a long way in making a good impression on a first date.
Remembering common courtesies like saying please and thank you, holding doors open, and being polite to waitstaff shows that you were raised well and are considerate of others.
Another important aspect of etiquette is respecting personal space. Be mindful of physical boundaries and avoid being too touchy-feely or invading your date’s personal space without their consent.
Overall, good manners demonstrate thoughtfulness and respect, which are important qualities to have in any relationship.
10 Ideas for a First Date
Knowing what to do on a first date can be difficult, but luckily, we’ve listed some simple first-date ideas that are super cute.
These ideas allow you to get to know your date and can even be extended if you really hit it off!
| 1. Go for a hike or walk in a nearby park or nature trail: Spend some time outdoors and get to know each other while enjoying the scenery. Plus, it’s a good way to gauge your compatibility in terms of fitness and outdoor activities. 2. Visit a local museum or art gallery: Perfect for those who enjoy culture and learning new things. It’s also a great conversation starter and a way to find out what your date is interested in. 3. Have a picnic in the park: This is a classic date idea that never gets old. Pack a basket of your favourite foods and drinks and enjoy a relaxing picnic together. 4. Go to a concert or live performance: You can bond over your shared love of music or the arts while getting out of the house and doing something different. 5. Try a new restaurant or cuisine: This is a great way to try something new and exciting together and to get to know your date’s tastes and preferences. 6. Take a cooking class together: Perfect for bonding over a shared interest in food and cooking, and you’ll even get to take home a delicious meal that you made together. 7. Go bowling or play mini-golf: Have some fun and friendly competition together, break the ice, and get to know each other. 8. Visit a local farmers market: Spend some time outdoors, get to know each other, try new foods and discover new ingredients. 9. Take a dance class: This is an excellent way to break the ice and bond over a shared interest in dancing, all while getting to know each other. 10. Go to a wine or beer tasting: Great for bonding over a shared interest in drinks, and trying new and interesting flavours. |
Get inspiration for your date with our Budget-Friendly Date Ideas in Bristol that guarantee romance and fun without a hefty price tag.
Final Thoughts: How to Act on a First Date to Secure a Second Date
The key to nailing that first date? Honestly, just be yourself, chill out, and let the conversation flow. Don’t stress about the date or yourself – enjoy getting to know the other person. Do that, and we’re sure you’ll both have a great time.
Who knows, you might even meet someone special!
To stop you from stressing after your first date, check out our 13 Sure-Fire Signs to Know If a Date Went Well!
FAQs
What Are the Dos and Don’ts on a First Date?
Dos: Be punctual, dress appropriately, listen attentively, and be yourself.
Don’ts: Avoid talking about exes, monopolising the conversation, using your phone excessively, and being overly critical or negative.
Should I Kiss on the First Date?
A first-date kiss is a personal decision. Gauge the chemistry and read your date’s body language. If it feels right and there’s mutual interest, go for it. Otherwise, a sincere hug or a warm handshake is perfectly fine. Always respect consent and comfort.
How to Make a First Date Not Awkward?
Break the ice with light, humorous topics, and ask open-ended questions to encourage conversation. Be present and show genuine interest in your date. Choose a comfortable, relaxed setting and keep the atmosphere casual. Always be yourself and let the conversation flow naturally.
How Long Should a First Date Last?
A first date should ideally last between one to two hours. This is enough time to get to know each other without feeling pressured. If the date is going well, let it flow naturally, but end on a high note to leave a positive impression.