Online dating is great for letting you chat before dressing up and leaving the house, but what are the right questions to ask to make the most of your dates? We’ve picked our top questions to help you sus out whether a date is worth your time without wasting effort.
Whether you’re new to online dating and want to know the sorts of questions that’ll make you stand out, or you’re a veteran online dater who’s sick of wasting your time, our guide will help you make the most of your time on dating apps and make finding love easier.
Find True Connections With Wisp
With the Wisp app, you can skip all the endless back-and-forth messaging and get straight to building real connections.
Our algorithm matches you with people who share your values and interests, so you can actually have meaningful conversations instead of wasting time on small talk.
By asking the right questions upfront and narrowing down matches smarter, Wisp makes it super easy to form authentic relationships, without all the hassle.
Get-To-Know-You Questions to Ask On Dating Apps
Asking questions to get to know someone is one of the main aspects of online dating, but it doesn’t take long to get bored of asking and answering the same generic questions about what animal you’d be or what your favourite colour is.
Thankfully, there are plenty of fun and engaging questions you can ask to get the information you’re looking for without slowly going insane.
Here are 13 get-to-know-you questions to find out the things you really want to know when online dating.
Q1. What’s Your Main Goal in Life?
This is such a great question to ask if you’re serious about building a long-term relationship.
It gives you a little peek into the other person’s ambitions, values, and what they want for their future.
Knowing someone’s main life goal helps you figure out if your aspirations line up and gives you an idea of the kind of lifestyle they’re aiming for.
Are they all about climbing the career ladder, or are they more focused on starting a family and keeping life simple?
Q2. What 3 Things Would You Take to a Desert Island?
Okay, so this might be a cliche question, but it’s tried and tested. Asking someone what they’d take to a desert island lets you know whether they’re a practical person, what their main vices are, and what they can’t live without.
Obviously, if one of their three things is water, they’re boring, and we’d probs recommend steering clear altogether! (Unless you’d also list water, in which case, you’re a match made in heaven, congrats.)
Q3. What’s an Instant Turn Off in a Partner?
Figuring out someone’s instant turn-offs—or icks—in a partner can tell you a lot. Bringing this up early on helps you see if your values, habits, or overall vibe actually match.
If their turn off happens to be something that’s a big part of who you are, it’s better to know sooner rather than later, right? It saves everyone time and avoids awkward misunderstandings or mismatched expectations later.
Q4. Why Do You Want a Long-Term Relationship?
Figuring out why someone is on a dating app can give you a good idea of where their head’s at and what they’re looking for.
Asking about their reasons can help you see if they’re serious about a long-term relationship, just casually swiping, or still figuring things out.
This kind of conversation can also give you insight into their relationship values and priorities.
Some common reasons why people want a long-term relationship include:
- Looking for a committed partnership: Some people are simply ready to settle down and build a life with someone else. They may be tired of casual dating or have specific goals in mind, such as starting a family.
- Wanting companionship: Humans are social creatures, and many people crave the emotional intimacy and connection that comes with being in a long-term relationship. This type of bond can provide support, understanding, and comfort through life’s ups and downs.
- Seeking stability: For some individuals, having a stable relationship can bring a sense of security and consistency to their lives.
Q5. What’s an Achievement You’re Proud Of?
Asking someone about their proudest achievement can tell you a lot about who they are and what matters to them.
For instance, if they talk about a big career milestone, it might show how much they value professional growth and ambition, or dedication to their work.
But if they mention something personal, like overcoming a tough challenge or building a meaningful relationship, it could mean they prioritise resilience, empathy, or connections with others.
Q6. What Are Your Top Relationship Deal Breakers?
Asking someone about their top relationship deal breakers can tell you a lot about their past experiences and what they’re looking for in the future.
Maybe they can’t stand dishonesty or poor communication due to past experiences, or they’ve got a thing about wearing socks in bed.
It’s a simple question, but it can lead to some really interesting insights and let you know what red flags they’re looking out for.
Q7. What Brings You Joy in Life?
This question isn’t just a fancy way to sound deep or introspective. Asking what brings someone joy can actually give you a peek into their mindset and emotional well-being.
It helps you see if their way of finding happiness lines up with your own values and lifestyle.
Joy can come from simple things, like a walk in nature, or bigger things, like personal growth or creative projects.
Q8. What’s Your Perfect Date Plan?
This question can tell you a lot about someone’s personality and how they approach relationships. It gives you a sense of whether their idea of romance lines up with yours and if their perfect date matches what you’d enjoy.
Plus, it’s a great way to see how thoughtful and creative they are when it comes to planning your date, if it gets that far.
Q9. What Are You Trying to Improve About Yourself Right Now?
This question helps you see how much someone cares about their personal growth, goals, and well-being. It’s a great way to get some insight into their self-awareness and what matters most to them.
Their answer can give you a glimpse into their mindset, aspirations, and how they approach improving themselves and their life.
Q10. What’s the First Thing You’d Do With a Million Quid?
This question is a mix of fun and insightful. It gets the other person thinking creatively while giving you a peek into their priorities and values.
Whether they talk about travelling, helping others, starting a business, or chasing a personal dream, their answer gives you a glimpse into how they’d take advantage of freedom and opportunity.
Q11. How Would Your Friends Describe You in 3 Words?
This question gives a great peek into how they see themselves through their friends’ eyes. It can show the types of relationships they build and the qualities they really value in themselves and others.
Their answer might reveal if they see themselves as loyal, adventurous, kind, or ambitious, giving you a better sense of their personality, social vibe, and what shapes their identity.
Remember to take their answer with a pinch of salt because they’re going to say things that sound good!
Q12. What Does Love Mean to You?
This question is a great way to dive into a deeper, more meaningful conversation. It gives both of you a chance to explore what love really means.
Their answer can tell you a lot about how they see love and relationships—whether it’s unconditional support, a deep emotional bond, or a partnership based on trust and growth.
It’s a window into their values, what they think makes a relationship work, and how they approach love in general.
Q13. How Do You Feel About Your Last Relationship?
This might just be the most important question on the list. Asking how they feel about their last relationship can tell you a lot, like whether they’ve truly moved on or if they’re still holding onto unresolved feelings and emotional baggage.
Their answer gives you insight into their personal growth, how they handle breakups, and what they’re looking for in a relationship.
Plus, it can clue you in on why things ended, which might reveal the kind of dynamics they value or want to avoid.
Understanding this can help you figure out if they’re really ready to start something new with you.
Specific Date Questions to Ask a Guy
Although both sexes are pretty similar, there are still some societal differences that can come into play when you’re looking for a life partner.
To help avoid wasting your time, here are some questions you can ask a guy when talking online to make sure you’re on the same page.
- What does a healthy relationship mean to you?
- Are you open to long-term commitment, or are you more focused on something casual?
- What’s been the most important lesson you’ve learned from past relationships?
- How do you like to handle conflicts or disagreements in a relationship?
- What are your personal or professional goals for the next few years?
- Do you value spending time with family and friends, and how important is that to you?
- How do you see your ideal work-life balance fitting into a relationship?
- What are your thoughts on marriage, kids, or building a future together?
These questions work for both men and women to ask a man when talking on dating apps.
Specific Date Questions to Ask a Girl
Of course, there are certain things that you should ask women about when you’re talking on dating apps and considering going on a date to make sure you both have similar goals and values.
Here are some questions to ask the woman you’re talking to online to make sure you’re both on the same page.
- What are your long-term goals, both personally and professionally?
- How important is family to you, and do you see yourself wanting children in the future?
- How do you typically handle rough patches or challenges in a relationship?
- How do you prioritise personal relationships?
- Do you see yourself settling down in one place, or are you open to relocating?
- What values are most important to you in life and a relationship?
- How do you see yourself building a future with someone, and what does that look like to you?
These questions work for both men and women to ask a woman when talking on dating apps.
Why Are the Questions You Ask Important When Online Dating?
When you’re dating online, the questions you ask really matter. They help you figure out early on if you’re compatible, so you don’t waste time on connections that might not work out.
The sooner you’re on the same page, the easier it is to focus on building something meaningful instead of running into big differences later.
Some apps, like Wisp, only give you a short window to chat before you have to schedule a date, so it’s super important to ask direct, thoughtful questions upfront.
By being intentional with your conversations, you’ll have a much better chance of finding someone who truly shares your values and goals.
Spark Romance With the Right Questions on Wisp
By asking the right questions, you can uncover common values, shared interests, and a glimpse into your match’s personality before meeting in person. This intentional approach not only helps spark a lasting romance but also ensures your time together on the date is more engaging and enjoyable.
Wisp encourages meaningful connections by creating a short pre-date chat window, which pushes you to make the most of your conversations.
Say goodbye to endless cliched dating app messaging and download the Wisp app today to start your journey to finding lasting love.
FAQs
What’s a Good Opening Question on a Dating App?
A good opening question is personalised and engaging, such as referencing their profile or interests.
For example, “I see you love hiking – what’s your favourite trail?” This approach shows genuine interest and sparks meaningful conversation.
What Do You Talk About During Online Dating?
Try to keep online conversations engaging and friendly, but to the point, when online dating, to avoid getting stuck in a cycle of messaging but never meeting.
Instead, save the funny questions and silly anecdotes for when you’re face to face in a restaurant!
Should You Ask a List of Questions When Online Dating?
It’s best to avoid a rigid list of questions and instead keep the conversation dynamic.
Asking organic, open-ended questions creates a more natural flow and allows you to learn about each other in an authentic and enjoyable way.
Can Engaging Questions Lead to a Successful Relationship?
Asking good questions can really spark meaningful conversations, build stronger emotional connections, and help uncover shared values—key ingredients for a solid relationship.
Thoughtful and genuine questions make it easier to understand each other better and build trust along the way.