We’ve all been ghosted in the dating world, whether it’s being stood up for a date or someone going silent while texting. But instead of wondering, “What did I do?” or “Did I deserve this?” it’s better to focus on moving forward. So, we’ve put together some tips on what to text a ghoster for closure and to help you heal.
These tips and examples can help you gain the closure you’re looking for, move on to a new relationship with a healthier and happier mindset, and find someone who treats you better and deserves you.
| What Is Ghosting? The act of ghosting is the sudden and unexplained cessation of communication, leaving the ghosted person feeling confused and hurt. It can range from not responding to messages to avoiding someone in public, leading to feelings of abandonment and self-doubt. The excitement of a new relationship can quickly turn into uncertainty when someone goes silent, making it important to understand the reasons behind this abrupt change. |
How to Respond to a Ghoster Who Comes Back
While ghosting is often a painful experience, the rejection often feels final, which can be helpful in starting the process of moving on, but there are some ghosters who just keep coming back – Boomerang ghosters, if you will.
If the person who ghosted you pops back up out of the blue, it’s the perfect time to message them back to gain some closure for yourself and have the last word.
Here are some suggestions for responses to ghosters who pop back up. We’ve separated them into sassy and funny responses and serious responses to help you, no matter how you feel about the situation.
Funny Ghosting Responses
If you’ve made progress in moving on since they first ghosted you, you might want to respond to their random resurfacing with a sassy, funny message that makes you feel better while making them feel as small as they should.
| Here are some sassy and funny ghosting responses that you can use to inspire your closure message… 1. “Wow! How was your trip to the Bermuda Triangle? Glad to see you survived!” 2. “Did you just return from a sabbatical in silence? Asking for a friend.” 3. “Congratulations! You’ve officially won the ‘Best Ghosting Performance’ award – is there a prize for that?” 4. “I didn’t think I’d see you again until the next season of ‘Survivor’ – I guess I was wrong!” 5. “Ah, I see you’ve just updated your relationship status to ‘Ghosting Expert’ – how’s that working out for you?” 6. “Look who decided to appear like a magician after the show! What’s your next trick?” 7. “Oh, I thought you were lost in a time warp! Glad to see you’ve made it back to the present year!” 8. “Is this a plot twist? Because I wasn’t expecting your ghostly return!” 9. “Did you get stuck in the ‘silent’ zone? Welcome back to the land of the living!” 10. “I almost called the Ghostbusters! Thank goodness you showed up before I did!” |
Getting sassy with the person who ghosted you and had the audacity to reappear with a grovelling message can feel incredibly cathartic, but it’s also likely to generate a response from them, especially if they feel offended by your snark.
We don’t recommend responding to their response with anything other than a clear message stating that any relationship you had with them is over.
You can then block them or mute them to move on with your life cleanly and, crucially, without ghosting anyone!
Serious Ghosting Responses
Of course, if you’re not over how they treated you yet (no one can blame you for that), you might want to send them a serious response that outlines how they made you feel with their actions.
While we can’t guarantee that they’ll learn something from it, it can make you feel better in the long run.
| Here are some serious responses to send when the person who ghosted you reappears… 1. “I was genuinely confused and hurt when you stopped communicating. It would have meant a lot for me to have had a conversation about it.” 2. “Your sudden silence left me feeling abandoned. I value honesty and wish you had been upfront with me.” 3. “When you ghosted me, it made me question my worth. I deserve clearer communication in a relationship.” 4. “Seeing you pop back up after ghosting made me realise how much I invested emotionally without closure.” 5. “Your silence made it difficult for me to move on. I hope you understand the impact your actions had on me.” 6. “I felt disregarded and unimportant when you vanished without explanation. It’s essential to acknowledge how that feels.” 7. “I’ve moved on, but I still remember how your ghosting affected me. Open communication is crucial for mutual respect.” 8. “Your reappearance brings up many unresolved feelings, and I need to express that ghosting can be genuinely damaging.” 9. “I wish you’d communicated instead of disappearing. It would have made a significant difference in how I processed everything.” 10. “I appreciate your message, but it’s important to know that ghosting can leave lasting effects on someone. I hope you reflect on that.” |
While you can go more in-depth about your specific situation, our advice would be to keep it short and sweet. The sort of person that would ghost you probably isn’t invested enough to read a long paragraph about how you felt.
If you feel you need to express yourself fully in order to move on, we recommend writing it in a letter and either sending it to them if you have their address or burning it to symbolise the end of this chapter in your life.
How to Get Closure After Being Ghosted
If they haven’t responded to your messages, even after sending multiple follow-ups asking if they’re okay, it’s safe to say that you’ve probably been ghosted (welcome to the club!). Whether it’s your first time being ghosted or it’s happened before, it doesn’t get any less rubbish.
Thankfully, there are things you can do to get closure that don’t involve sending them a long-winded message that they probably won’t read anyway.
1. Reflect on the Relationship
Taking time to analyse the relationship can help you gain perspective. Consider what worked and what didn’t, focusing on the positives and learning experiences.
This reflection can aid in understanding your emotions and preparing for future connections.
If you’re really struggling, you might want to consider seeking advice and support from a professional counsellor or therapist. They can help you work through your feelings and give you tips on raising low self-esteem that can occur from being ghosted.
2. Talk to Friends or Family
Sharing your feelings with trusted friends or family can provide comfort and insight. They can offer support, help you process your feelings, and gain a different perspective on the situation.
Confiding in people who love and support you can also help minimise feelings of unworthiness and self-hatred that can stem from harsh rejection, helping you to heal and move on faster.
3. Engage in Self-Care
Taking care of yourself is crucial after being ghosted, as it allows you to process your feelings and regain your confidence.
Engaging in activities you love and that align with your self-image, such as exercising, treating yourself, or other hobbies, not only boosts your mood but also helps you reconnect with your self-worth.
Self-care fosters emotional healing, enabling you to move forward positively and build resilience against future disappointments. Prioritising yourself is a powerful step towards recovery.
| A form of self-care can also be refraining from pursuing romantic relationships for a while to give yourself time to heal. Just remember to tell anyone you’re talking to that you’re going to be taking a break from apps or dating sites so you don’t become a ghoster, too! |
4. Write It Down
Putting your thoughts and feelings on paper can be therapeutic. Consider journaling about your experiences, emotions, and what you hope for in the future.
You can also write a letter to the person who ghosted you that you’ll never send. You can either keep your writing to reflect on in the future, or you can shred or burn the paper to remove these feelings from your life.
This process can serve as a healthy outlet for your feelings and clarify your thoughts.
5. Create Closure Rituals
Establish a personal ritual to signify moving on, such as writing a letter to the ghoster without sending it or burning it (as we mentioned above) to symbolise release or to write down all the positives you got from your relationship to lead with love instead of hate.
Purposefully doing something that signifies the end of this chapter of your life can help you let go of lingering feelings and emotions that might hold you back from finding love with someone else.
6. Focus on the Future
Shift your energy towards the future rather than dwelling on the past. Set new personal goals and remind yourself that each experience contributes to personal growth. Embracing new opportunities can help foster a more positive outlook.
| Remember, just because it was a romantic relationship you lost, it doesn’t mean that has to be your focus when you think of your future right now. Instead, you can focus on career goals, ticking things off your bucket list, or nurturing your relationships with friends. |
Why Do People Ghost?
Ghosting can occur for a multitude of reasons and often reflects the ghoster’s own insecurities or fear of confrontation.
Some individuals may find it difficult to communicate their feelings, opting for silence instead of an honest but uncomfortable conversation. Others might resort to ghosting to avoid intimacy or to slow down a relationship, particularly if they are not ready for a serious relationship.
Also, some may ghost simply because they lack the maturity to handle the situation appropriately, viewing it as an easier, albeit hurtful, solution.
While understanding that ghosting stems from the ghoster’s issues can help you process your feelings and move towards closure, it’s important to know that none of the reasons why people ghost excuse the behaviour.
When you’ve invested time and energy into fostering a relationship, even if you’re just at the talking stage, you deserve to be given a reason as to why it isn’t working.
Final Thoughts: Don’t Let Ghosters Ruin Your Love Story
It’s impossible to spot a ghoster before they ghost you. There are no signs or warnings to look out for, which can make avoiding ghosters a difficult task, especially when using dating sites or apps. But that doesn’t mean that you have to let the experience taint your dating experience or affect your future relationships.
Use our tips and tricks to help you navigate being ghosted so that you can gain closure and move on to help you find the relationship you deserve with someone who respects your time and effort.
Find more expert dating tips and advice on the Finding The One blog to help you navigate the dating scene, from how to spot a serial dater to how to know what you’re looking for in a relationship. We cover it all!
Article updated: 06/09/2024
FAQs
Should I Send a Closure Message to a Ghoster?
Sending a closure message to a ghoster can provide you with the opportunity to express your feelings and seek understanding. However, consider whether their response will yield value; if not, focus on your healing instead.
How to Respond When a Ghoster Reaches Out?
How you respond to a ghoster reaching out really depends on how you feel. You can go for a sassy or serious reply. Just make sure it matches your emotions. Remember to prioritise your healing and set boundaries that support your well-being.
What Can I Text Instead of Ghosting a Breakup?
If you want to dip out of a relationship in the early stages, it can be hard to know what to say, but it’s important not to ghost someone.
Simply text a brief, honest message expressing your feelings, such as, “I think we should go our separate ways. I wish you well, but this isn’t working for me.” Clear communication helps both parties move on respectfully.
What Makes a Ghoster Return?
Ghosters may return due to feelings of guilt, unresolved emotions, or curiosity about how their absence affected you. They might also seek closure for themselves, hoping to alleviate their own discomfort after their abrupt exit from the relationship.