If you’ve found yourself in the sticky situation of having to cancel your date last minute due to other commitments or sudden plan changes, we’ve got some sound advice on how to cancel a date politely and without damaging your chances of seeing them again.
More often than not, we all assume a cancelled date means the other person has changed their mind, they’ve got cold feet, or they’re just not interested anymore.
But sometimes, life genuinely does just get in the way, and you need to rearrange the plans you made with this potential beau.
If you’re pretty keen to see this person and you don’t want your date cancellation to come across as rude or seem like you’re calling the whole thing quits, there are definitely some dos and don’ts to take note of—we’ve laid out all our tips below for you. You’re welcome.
How to Cancel a Date & Reschedule for Another Day
The key to cancelling a date without ruining any future chance of meeting up with this person is to jump straight in with rescheduling the date.
Don’t wait to get sympathy for your reasons for cancelling, it just stunts the conversation and makes the other person feel like you’re just not interested.
Here’s what we suggest doing…
1. Send a Timely Message Explaining Your Reasons for Cancelling
As soon as you know you won’t be able to make it to the date, you need to tell the other person.
Obviously, sometimes you won’t know until the last minute, but the sooner you can let them know, the better.
There’s nothing worse than having left the house all dressed up and getting a text when you get off the train saying they’re not coming.
In the message, whether it’s a text, a dating app chat, or a phone call, explain why you’re cancelling the date.
Of course, you don’t need to describe your illness in gruesome detail or share personal details you’re not comfortable with, but it’s polite to give a reason why you’re cancelling.
At the end of the message, include a line about being keen to lock in an alternative date to show that you’re still interested in meeting them.
2. Suggest Alternatives for Future Plans
Once they respond and show interest in rescheduling the date, you should suggest ideas for the date, including venue ideas, activities, etc.
Regardless of who planned the original date, as the person who cancelled, it’s important that you put effort into showing that you’re still actively interested.
You don’t need to go overboard with your enthusiasm, or it can feel fake and performative. Instead, keep the new plan similar to the original one, but be the one to make the effort.
3. Confirm Your New Date & Stick to It
As well as being the one to plan the rescheduled date, it’s important to get a new date and time locked in to keep things moving forward. Otherwise, you run the risk of the relationship becoming stagnant before it even starts.
Of course, the crucial bit is to stick to the new date and not cancel again.
While we can’t control when things go wrong, cancelling more than one date in a row isn’t a good look and makes the other person feel like they’re being messed around.
How to Cancel a Date Over Text
If you’ve only communicated via texting or through a dating app chat, you need to put a little more thought into how you cancel the date because tone is difficult to convey through text alone.
It’s important to think about the words you use in your message and how they read to the other person.
We’d recommend reading the message through a couple of times to see where the emphasis naturally falls and get a feel for the tone of the message.
With that being said, don’t edit and rewrite the text a million times, or it’ll end up sounding like it didn’t come from you in the first place.
Again, if you’re worried that it’ll come across that you’re not interested in them anymore, make sure you suggest rescheduling the date as soon as possible.
Here are our top tips for cancelling a date last minute via text:
- Offer a sincere apology, but don’t milk it.
- Don’t write “War and Peace” for them; keep things simple and to the point.
- Emojis can be helpful to convey tone, but don’t overdo it.
- Don’t make too many jokes about the situation.
How to Cancel a Date Last Minute
So, what if you have every intention of attending the date, but then your car won’t start or your babysitter cancels on you?
Ultimately, life happens, and when something pops up at the last minute, there’s nothing you can do about it, but it does mean you have to be a little more apologetic in your cancellation.
The main thing about cancelling at the last minute is to let them know as soon as possible that you can’t make it.
Even if you’re not sure you’ll have to cancel (let’s say if your car won’t start but you might be able to get a jump start), it’s always best to let them know what’s going on so they don’t waste their time and money on getting ready and travelling.
A good start to a last-minute date cancellation is “Hey, I’m so sorry to do this, but XYZ has just happened and I’m not going to be able to make it.”
It gets to the point quickly, opens with an apology so they know to open the message to read it, and gives a brief explanation.
You can finish the message by asking if they want to rearrange and meet at another time or place, leaving the ball in their court. There might even be a middle ground you can strike.
Anyone who gets mad about an unavoidable last-minute cancellation probably isn’t someone you want to be with anyway. Life happens, and while it can be inconvenient, it’s just the way things go. If it’s meant to be, you’ll get another chance!
What If They’re Ghosting You After You Cancel?
If you cancel your date for any reason and you don’t hear back from them immediately, they probably just need a little time to process their feelings. They might be feeling rejected or questioning whether you actually like them.
That’s perfectly normal.
You can follow up with another message in a day or so to see where they’re at.
If they still don’t respond to you, ultimately, there’s not a lot you can do. You can’t force someone to talk to you!
Ghosting can be difficult to deal with, but we’ve found it’s best to treat it as a blessing in disguise.
Ignoring or blocking someone over something as minor as having to cancel a date is immature, and we don’t know anyone who’s looking for a lack of maturity in a partner.
You’ve probably had a lucky escape, honestly.
Despite this, being ghosted by someone you were genuinely interested in can be painful and even bring up some difficult emotions for some people. When this happens, it’s best to take a breather from organising dates with other people while you work through it.
In a couple of weeks, when you’re over it, jump right back into the dating game because the right person is still out there waiting for you!
Can You Cancel a Date Because You’re Not Interested Anymore?
Of course, silly! You can cancel a date for any reason, including if the person you’re talking to did something to give you the ick.
The dating process isn’t linear, and it’s in getting to know other people that we work out what we do and don’t want in a partner. Finding out what we don’t want can happen at any time, even before you’ve been on a date.
In these cases, it’s best to be as straightforward as possible in your cancellation.
Tell them you don’t want to go on the date anymore, and that you don’t think you would be right together (don’t just ghost them, it’s never nice).
If they ask, you can tell them why you’re not interested anymore, but try to keep it more on the factual side instead of launching into any personal attacks.
If you find you’re matching with people you don’t seem to gel with or have fundamental incompatibility with, it’s worth making sure your profile is as accurate as possible to help you get matches that actually work for you and that you’re interested in.
Are There Consequences for Cancelling Dates on Dating Apps?
The short answer is: it depends.
On some dating apps, there aren’t any consequences for matching with people, chatting, arranging a date, and then cancelling or just not turning up.
However, there are some dating apps, like Wisp, where turning up to your dates is taken a bit more seriously.
While you won’t be grounded for missing a date or having to cancel, the date token you used to arrange the date won’t be returned, so you can’t just use the same one over and over again.
We also don’t want our singletons to waste their time and money getting ready for a date with someone who’s just going to cancel on them, so if we spot a pattern with you repeatedly cancelling dates, we may place some restrictions on your account or ban your account altogether.
We’re all about finding true, lasting love, not messing people about.
With that being said, we understand that things pop up unexpectedly, and you shouldn’t feel bad about having to cancel a date for genuine reasons.
Certainly don’t go on a date and spread contagious viruses!
Avoid Bad Dates With the Wisp App
With Wisp, you can put an end to bad dates and the frustration of frequent cancellations.
Our smart algorithm is designed to match you with people who share your interests, values, and overall compatibility, ensuring you’re more likely to gel with your date.
Plus, we’ve made organising the date central to how the app works. From the moment you match, you’ll be prompted to arrange your meet-up, making it easy to connect with someone who is just as invested in meeting as you are.
Say goodbye to wasted time and hello to meaningful connections. Download our app today to get exclusive early bird deals!
FAQs
How Many Times Can You Cancel a Date With Someone?
You reasonably can cancel a date with the same person up to two times without it being a big deal.
After that, it’s best to just be honest about your availability. It keeps things clear and avoids any confusion about future plans.
How Do You Say Sorry for Cancelling a Date?
Keep it simple and sincere. You could say something like, “Sorry for cancelling our date, something came up last minute.”
Let them know you appreciate their time and suggest a new date to show you’re genuinely interested.
Can I Cancel a Date Over Text?
Yes, you can cancel a date over text, but make sure to be polite and genuine.
Apologise for the inconvenience, briefly explain the reason, and show you’re interested in rescheduling so they don’t feel completely rejected.
What Excuse for Cancelling a Date Feels Fake?
An excuse like “I’m busy with work” can feel vague and insincere. Be specific but concise—mention a real, relatable reason to show honesty, like feeling unwell or dealing with a family matter, to maintain trust.
Can You Get Friends to Cancel Dates for You?
While it might seem easier, asking friends to cancel dates for you can come across as impersonal and insincere.
It’s better to handle the situation yourself—be polite, honest, and direct to show respect for the other person.