Knowing how to go no contact with a narcissist isn’t something any of us ever wants to have to think about, but sometimes it’s necessary for our mental health and well-being.
If you’re in a relationship with a narcissistic person, you’ll already know they’re different from regular people, so it makes sense that your break-up will have to be different too.
From knowing when to cut contact to handling their reaction to you ending things, our guide will help you handle this tricky situation while protecting your emotional and mental health.
Read our full guide below, or skip to the chapters of interest.
- How to Leave a Narcissist: 5 Steps
- 7 Things Narcissists Do When You Go No Contact
- What Are 5 Things to Never Do After Breaking Up With a Narcissist?
- How to Deal With a Narcissist When You Can't Go No Contact
- How to Get Over a Narcissist
- FAQs
How to Leave a Narcissist: 5 Steps
Leaving a narcissist isn’t too dissimilar to ending a relationship with someone who isn’t one, but there are some differences that can make it a harder situation to navigate.
We’ve outlined our top 5 steps to help you leave a narcissist with as little stress as possible.
Step 1: Recognise the Signs & Acknowledge the Need for Change
The first step to leaving a narcissist is spotting the harmful behaviour patterns.
Narcissists often twist situations to control or put others down, leaving you feeling drained and unimportant.
Take a moment to recognise these toxic dynamics and accept that making a change is essential for your well-being.
Step 2: Create a Safe Exit Plan
Breaking up with a narcissist can be unpredictable, so it’s important to focus on your safety first.
Think about creating an exit plan — like finding a safe place to stay, gathering important documents, and setting aside some money if you can.
Don’t hesitate to lean on close friends, family, or a professional counsellor for support. You don’t have to do this alone.
Step 3: Establish No Contact or Limited Contact
Going no contact means cutting off all communication with the narcissist to avoid more manipulation. This might mean blocking their number, email, and social media accounts.
If going no contact isn’t an option, like when you have shared responsibilities (such as kids), set clear boundaries and only communicate when you have to, using a neutral platform.
Step 4: Resist Manipulation & Emotional Traps
Be prepared for the narcissist to use tricks like guilt-tripping, love-bombing, or fake promises to pull you back in.
Stay strong and remind yourself why you left in the first place. Lean on your support system and don’t hesitate to reach out for therapy if you need some extra help to stay grounded during this time.
Step 5: Focus on Healing & Rebuilding Your Life
Leaving a narcissist isn’t just about walking away, it’s about healing, too.
Take time to focus on yourself: set new goals, dive back into hobbies you love, and build connections with people who truly support you.
Therapy or counselling can make a huge difference in rebuilding your confidence and working through the impact of the relationship.
It’s not always easy, but your peace and happiness are so worth it.
7 Things Narcissists Do When You Go No Contact
The 7 things narcissists do when you go no contact with them:
- Break your boundaries with love bombing tactics
- Start smear campaigns against you on social media
- Employ manipulation tactics to make you feel guilty
- Find someone else to be with to make you jealous
- Retaliate against your decision by going legally, no contact
- Play the victim
- Become angry or aggressive
*Please note: if you are experiencing any type of abuse or narcissistic behaviour, please reach out to a trusted source for help and support.*
Breaking Boundaries With Love Bombing
Trying to set healthy boundaries with a narcissist is a losing game. No matter how hard you try, they’ll find ways around your boundaries while making themselves out to be the ‘good guy’.
When you go no-contact, the narcissist may try to break those boundaries by using love bombing tactics. This can be a very intense situation, which can leave you feeling confused and conflicted.
Just remember that it’s just another manipulation technique.
What is Love Bombing?
“ Love bombing is a tactic in which someone “bombs” you with extreme displays of attention and affection with the intent to manipulate you. Although being showered with “love” can seem positive at the beginning of a romantic relationship, love bombing can lead to gaslighting and abuse. ” – Verywell Mind
Starting Smear Campaigns on Social Media Platforms
There have never been more ways for a narcissist to retaliate when they’ve suffered a narcissistic injury.
Starting a smear campaign against you on social media is a common tactic to make themselves feel better and to paint themselves as the victim in the situation.
It’s kind of like how an ex would go around spreading rumours, except now, with the power of social media, it can be much more damaging.
They’ll Employ Manipulation Tactics
Being manipulated is one of the main things you have to deal with when you’re on the receiving end of narcissistic abuse. It’s a tactic they use to keep control over you and make you doubt your own judgment.
When you go no-contact, the narcissist may use different manipulation tactics to try and get you back under their control. This can range from guilt-tripping to gaslighting and everything in between.
These are all attempts to get what they want, not genuine emotions.
These techniques include:
- Love bombing
- Gaslighting
- Triangulation
- Projection
Finding Someone Else to Seek Revenge
Another common reaction to being cut off from an ex-partner is to replace them with someone else out of spite. The narcissist may very well start dating someone they know you don’t like just to get a reaction out of you. This is incredibly toxic behaviour for the narcissist and the other person involved.
They’ll Retaliate for No Contact
When you go no contact after a narcissistic relationship, it’s common for the narcissist to have a severe reaction to the rejection.
Often, in a bid to protect their over-inflated ego, they’ll respond in kind but to the extreme. This can result in having a no-contact order placed on you. If this happens, seeking professional guidance is a good idea.
What is a No-Contact Order?
A No-Contact Order, often referred to as a “restraining order,” is a court directive that prohibits an individual from contacting, communicating with, or being in close proximity to another person.
The order serves as a protective measure for the person seeking it, aiming to prevent further harm or aggression from the individual it is issued against.
They’ll Try to Self-Victimise
A common reaction when cutting contact with a narcissist is for them to play the victim. This is a role that they’re likely to be used to playing, and it can become quite distressing for you as the true victim.
A strong support system will be helpful.
Don’t hesitate to contact a mental health professional if you feel you need one.
They’ll Become Angry or Aggressive
The most concerning response when you try to break free from narcissistic abuse is anger or aggression. The narcissist may perceive your leaving as an attack on them and their ego, causing them to lash out.
This can be difficult to deal with, but it’s essential to prioritise your safety in this situation.
Make sure you have a safety plan in place, and don’t hesitate to contact the authorities if necessary.
What Are 5 Things to Never Do After Breaking Up With a Narcissist?
Knowing how to end a narcissistic relationship is one thing, but knowing explicitly what to avoid doing when navigating this sensitive time.
Don’t Engage in Arguments or Confrontations
After breaking up with a narcissist, avoid engaging in arguments or confrontations.
Narcissists thrive on conflict and will often try to manipulate or provoke you into reacting emotionally.
Keeping your distance and remaining calm is essential to protect your emotional well-being.
Don’t Expect Closure
Narcissists are unlikely to provide you with the closure you may desire as they prevent accountability and see themselves as blameless.
Seeking closure from a narcissist often leads to further frustration and emotional harm.
Focus on finding closure within yourself instead.
Don’t Break No-Contact Rules
Maintaining no contact is one of the most effective ways to move on from a narcissist.
Reaching out to them or responding to their attempts to contact you can pull you back into their cycle of manipulation and control.
Don’t Share Personal Information
Even after the relationship ends, a narcissist may look for ways to maintain influence over you. Avoid sharing personal or sensitive information about your life that they could use against you or to rekindle toxic dynamics.
Don’t Blame Yourself
It’s easy to internalise the blame due to the manipulative tactics often used by narcissists, but it’s crucial to remind yourself that their behaviour stems from their own issues.
Focus on healing and rebuilding your confidence instead of carrying guilt or self-doubt.
How to Deal With a Narcissist When You Can’t Go No Contact
Sometimes, going no-contact with a narcissist just isn’t possible. If you’ve got kids together or live in a small town and can’t move, you’ve got no choice but to work out how to handle the breakup while maintaining some level of contact.
Here are our top tips for dealing with a narcissistic ex that you can’t cut off completely.
Lean on Support From Friends & Family
Trusted friends and family can be a game-changer when you’re dealing with a narcissist and can’t go no contact.
They’re there to remind you of your worth and give you a judgment-free space to share your feelings. Narcissists are pros at gaslighting and manipulation, which can leave you doubting your own reality.
That’s why having a support system is so important — they can validate your experiences, help you set boundaries, and even step in as a buffer during tough interactions.
Don’t Stoop to Their Level
Dealing with a narcissist can be exhausting. They know exactly how to push your buttons and get a reaction, but the key is not to stoop to their level.
Narcissists thrive on petty tactics and mind games to stay in control or get under your skin.
Don’t let them drag you into their drama. Stay calm, keep your cool, and focus on what’s important to you.
Reacting emotionally or playing along only gives them more power and fuels their behaviour. Instead, set clear boundaries and don’t engage when things get toxic. Protect your energy and keep your dignity intact!
How to Get Over a Narcissist
Getting over a narcissist isn’t easy, but it can be one of the most rewarding things you’ll ever do.
The first step? Put yourself first.
Focus on your well-being and create some distance — both physically and emotionally — to protect yourself from their toxic influence.
This might mean cutting off contact completely or setting clear boundaries if you can’t fully separate. Give yourself time to heal by doing things that bring you joy and connecting with people who lift you up.
Talking to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist can also help you process your feelings and get some much-needed support.
It’s also worth learning more about narcissistic behaviour; it can help you make sense of what happened and validate your emotions.
Recovery takes time, but with every step forward, you’re proving just how strong and resilient you really are.
Find a New Healthy Relationship with Wisp
Cutting off contact with a narcissist is a big, brave step, but it’s so worth it if you’re looking for a healthy relationship.
Just remember — you deserve love, happiness, and respect. There are people out there who can give you all that without the toxic drama.
At Wisp, we provide a safe and welcoming environment for those looking for love after leaving an unhealthy relationship. Check out our Wisp blog for more dating tips and advice.
If you’re ready to move on from a negative relationship and find a beautiful new relationship, why not download the Wisp app?
FAQs
What Does a Narcissist Think When You Go No Contact?
A narcissist may feel confusion, anger, or a loss of control when you go no contact. They often interpret it as rejection or an attack on their ego, prompting attempts to regain attention or manipulate the situation.
How Do You Say Goodbye to a Narcissist?
Saying goodbye to a narcissist requires firmness and setting clear boundaries. Keep the farewell concise, avoid emotional engagement, and focus on protecting your well-being.
Communicating your decision calmly and without blame helps to minimise potential conflict or manipulation.
Does Rejection Hurt a Narcissist?
Yes, rejection hurts a narcissist deeply as it challenges their inflated sense of self-worth. They may react with anger, denial, or attempts at manipulation, as rejection threatens their need for validation and control over how others perceive them.
How Do You Respond When a Narcissist Reaches Out?
Respond with firm boundaries and minimal emotion. Keep answers brief, avoid personal details, and prioritise your well-being. If contact is unnecessary, consider not responding at all to protect yourself from potential manipulation or emotional strain.
What is Narcissistic Abuse?
Narcissistic abuse is a pattern of manipulative, controlling, and emotionally damaging behaviour used by narcissists to exploit, demean, and dominate others. It often includes gaslighting, belittling, and creating dependency to maintain power over their victims.