So you’ve fallen for a guy. He’s sweet and charming; he likes your pets. But you don’t want to wait for him to make the move to make things official. Knowing how to ask him out yourself doesn’t come naturally to all of us, but it can be taught!
We’ve used our team’s extensive experience in love and relationships to create the definitive list of dos and don’ts to help you ask him to be your bae, your ride-or-die, your main squeeze.
With this helpful guide, you’ll be able to handle asking the big question with ease. We’ve even thrown in some ideas for where and how to ask him out. You’re welcome.
In This Guide:
- The Dos & Don'ts of Asking a Guy to Be in a Relationship
- #1 Don’t Ask Him to Be Your Boyfriend Through Text
- #2 Do Prepare With a Casual Conversation
- #3 Do Be Prepared for Rejection
- #4 Don't Bombard Him With Questions
- #5 Do Keep an Eye on His Body Language Signs
- #6 Don't Be Afraid to Have a Back-Up Love Letter to Help
- #7 Do Maintain Eye Contact
- #8 Do Dress to Grab His Attention on Your Date
- #9 Do Be Prepared to Stray From the Plan
- When Should I Ask Someone to Be My Boyfriend?
- Final Thoughts: Nail the Moment With Our Top Tips
- FAQs
The Dos & Don’ts of Asking a Guy to Be in a Relationship
Asking someone to be your boyfriend is a delicate process that can feel overwhelming at times, especially if you don’t have much experience with it.
But fear not!
With some simple guidance, you’ll be able to nail the moment and start your love story without a second thought.
#1 Don’t Ask Him to Be Your Boyfriend Through Text
This casual approach isn’t the best when it comes to something that impacts both your lives.
That said, we get it. If you’re feeling nervous or unsure, this might feel like an easier option. But honestly, we wouldn’t recommend it.
Strong communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship, so kicking things off with a method that feels impersonal and a bit disconnected might not set the best tone for your partnership.
If you prefer to communicate via text or non-verbal mediums due to social anxiety or neurodiversity, asking someone to be your boyfriend via text is fine. Your potential beau should be aware of the reasons for this preference and respect them.
#2 Do Prepare With a Casual Conversation
Before you make things official, it’s a good idea to have a few casual chats about where you both stand.
These little conversations can make things a lot easier and way less awkward. Plus, it gives you a chance to get a feel for how they think about relationships, commitment, and exclusivity.
It doesn’t need to be a big, serious talk – just natural, easygoing moments where you can understand their perspective. This way, you’re both more prepared, and it minimises the risk of them being blindsided and you being embarrassed.
#3 Do Be Prepared for Rejection
Not to be the negative Nancy here, but it’s important to be prepared for rejection.
Even when you think that things are going really well between you and the guy you’re dating, it’s possible they aren’t on the same page as you emotionally.
There are guys out there who you can ask all the classic relationship questions, and they’ll give you the answer you want to hear. Then, when it comes down to it, they change their mind.
Of course, people are allowed to change their minds about being in a relationship for any reason, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t painful to deal with at the time.
#4 Don’t Bombard Him With Questions
If you get rejected, take a moment to breathe and try not to flood him with questions right away. It’s an emotional and overwhelming moment for both of you, so it’s important to handle it gently.
Instead, just ask him why in a calm, respectful way and leave it at that for now. Giving both of you some space can help clear your mind and keep things from escalating.
Once things have settled and you feel ready, you can always revisit the conversation and ask more questions if you need more clarity or closure to heal.
#5 Do Keep an Eye on His Body Language Signs
Even if you’ve come up with the cutest, most foolproof plan, don’t forget to pay attention to his body language.
He might seem like the perfect boyfriend material, but he could have his own thoughts about who should make the first move, or maybe the plan you’ve cooked up is making him feel a little uneasy.
If he starts looking awkward or uncomfortable, just pause for a moment and check in with him to see how he’s feeling.
And hey, if your big “ask him out” moment ends up being a sweet, romantic gesture instead, that’s totally fine. After all, no one wants to read a heartfelt poem to someone who’d rather be somewhere else!
Some common signs he’s not in the right headspace for the big moment:
- Avoiding eye contact
- Crossed arms
- Fidgeting
- Tense facial expressions
- Leaning away
#6 Don’t Be Afraid to Have a Back-Up Love Letter to Help
Having a backup love letter can be a total lifesaver when nerves or emotions take over. If you’re stumbling over your words or struggling to say how you feel, you’ve got something heartfelt ready to fall back on.
A letter lets you capture those feelings that can be hard to say out loud and share them without the pressure of getting it perfect in the moment. Plus, it gives you both something to look back on on your anniversaries (if you get that far) whether you used it in the moment or not.
#7 Do Maintain Eye Contact
This one’s super simple but really important. When you’re nervous, it’s easy to look down or avoid eye contact. Maybe you’re worried about how the other person will react, so you instinctively look away.
But that’s not the best way to show you’re interested in them.
Take a moment to get in the right mindset before confessing your feelings. Make sure you hold some sensual eye contact to get in the mood. It’ll help you keep steady eye contact during this emotional and personal moment.
Eye contact is such a powerful way to connect with someone intimately and sensually. It shows vulnerability, trust, and interest, all without saying a word. Honestly, it’s one of the most impactful ways to express yourself without speaking.
#8 Do Dress to Grab His Attention on Your Date
When you dress to catch his eye, you’re showing him that this date matters to you – without even saying a word. Your outfit can show off your confidence, personality, and the effort you’re bringing to the moment.
Choosing something that stands out tells him this is a special occasion. You don’t need to go over the top. Just pick something that makes you feel great and shows off who you are. It’s a simple way to set the vibe for the official start of your relationship.
- Read More: What to Wear: Ideas for Men & Women
#9 Do Be Prepared to Stray From the Plan
Plans change; it happens! Being able to roll with it can make all the difference in keeping a date fun and enjoyable. Life’s unpredictable, and a little flexibility can turn an awkward moment into something to laugh about and bond over.
If the timing or setting doesn’t feel perfect, like asking at the end of the date instead of during a romantic moment at the restaurant, it’s really not a big deal. What matters most is your intention and the connection you’re building.
Showing you can adapt with confidence and care makes you even more attractive as a partner!
When Should I Ask Someone to Be My Boyfriend?
Timing is everything! Or maybe not. As with many things in life, there’s never going to be a perfect time to ask someone to be your boyfriend, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a right time.
Here are some signs it’s the right time to ask someone to be your boyfriend…
- You feel comfortable in each other’s company
- You’ve built a connection beyond just physical attraction
- You share similar values, interests, and goals in life
- You feel secure and confident in your feelings for each other
- You’ve both made meaningful gestures toward each other
- You’ve both expressed mutual interest in taking the next step and becoming exclusive
But aside from how your relationship has been flowing, make sure you’re asking at a good time for them. Do they have any family things or big events coming up that might make them feel pressured or overwhelmed? Are they going through a busy or stressful time at work?
Springing this question on them while they’re dealing with other things can go one of two ways: you’ll brighten up their day and make them excited, or you’ll add more stress to their plate.
Of course, it’s not your responsibility to micromanage their schedule, but being considerate of their current situation can go a long way in how they receive the question (and in getting the response you’re hoping for).
- Read More: The 9 Weird Signs You’re Soulmates!
What Should You Do They Need More Time to Consider Their Answer?
If you pluck up the courage to ask him to be your boyfriend, and he responds that he needs time to consider his answer, it can feel like a major gut punch. But before you spiral, it doesn’t have to be the end of the world!
His asking for time to think about it can just mean that he’s feeling a little blindsided; it’s not necessarily a sign that he doesn’t have feelings for you or that you’re resigned to the friend zone.
With that being said, it’s important to make sure you give him the time and space he’s asked for.
The best thing to do is to continue the date like it’s just a regular day unless you decide it’ll be better to call it a night to avoid things getting awkward.
You can gently broach the subject again in a few days if they haven’t already, but it can be best to do this over text to keep emotions under control. This is the time for preparing for the worst but hoping for the best.
- Read More: The Top Internal Barriers to Finding Love
Final Thoughts: Nail the Moment With Our Top Tips
With these tips, you can ask someone to be your boyfriend in a way that feels natural and true to you. Whether you keep it simple and heartfelt or go for something fun and creative, the most important thing is to be yourself and share how you feel honestly.
A little preparation and sincerity can help make the moment special for both of you and set the stage for an amazing start to your relationship.
Head over to our blog to read more about new relationships, including fun date ideas and dating advice.
FAQs
How Soon Should You Ask Him to Be Your Boyfriend?
You’ll know it’s time to ask him when there’s mutual comfort and trust in your relationship. Look for clear body language cues that he’s as invested as you are.
If you both actively enjoy each other’s company and have discussed being exclusive, these are strong signs indicating readiness to progress to a committed relationship.
What is the 3-Month Rule?
The 3-month rule suggests waiting three months before making major relationship decisions, giving both partners time to know each other deeply. This period allows for genuine connection while revealing compatibility and intentions before committing further.
Can I Ask Him to Be My Boyfriend as a Woman?
Yes, women can absolutely ask men to be their boyfriends in 2025! Taking initiative in relationships is modern and empowering, fostering equality and mutual respect. Confidence in expressing feelings can lead to stronger, more open connections between partners.
Is it Important to Establish Exclusivity Before Asking Someone to Be Your Boyfriend?
Asking your partner to be your boyfriend is the act that establishes exclusivity, so there’s no need to establish this boundary beforehand. With that being said, if you’re looking for a committed, monogamous relationship, make sure you express this clear boundary when you ask them to be your boyfriend.