First dates are often filled with fun and relief after talking to someone for a while, but after the date comes the text message. Getting the tone, content, and timing of this text can be critical for securing a second date, but what to text after a first date can be hard to decide!
We’ve got a fair amount of experience with second dates, which means we know a thing or two about how to get that all-important post-date communication right!
We’ve put together a little guide to help you navigate this crucial step in your relationship to help you find lasting love.
- What to Text After a First Date
- Examples of What to Text After a First Date
- When to Send a First Text After the First Date
- How to Transition to a Second Date Through Texts
- Key Takeaways: How to Nail Texting After a First Date
- FAQs
What to Text After a First Date
Writing the first text message after your first date can be just as nerve-wracking as the date itself. Knowing what to say to convey your interest without coming off too needy, or how to let them down gently if you weren’t feeling it, is an art form.
Here’s some inspiration for what to include in the message.
1. Tell Them You Had a Great Time
Whether you felt strong chemistry with your date or not, it’s polite to start your message by letting them know you had a good time meeting them. Just because a romantic relationship may not arise from the date doesn’t mean it wasn’t fun or something you can learn from.
Try something like, “I had a wonderful time getting to know you last night!” or “Thanks for such a great first date!”.
Of course, if you really liked them, you might want to be more specific in your praise of the date, but make sure you don’t go too overboard so you don’t seem too overzealous.
| If your date was truly disastrous, you clearly didn’t get on, or especially if you felt unsafe during it, you don’t have to text them at all, let alone tell them it was good. |
2. Enquire About How the Date Was for Them
Asking your date how they found the experience can provide valuable insight into their feelings and perceptions. This simple question can help gauge their emotional state and whether they might be open to a second date.
You might say something like, “I hope you enjoyed the evening as much as I did! What did you think?” or “Did you have a good time tonight? I enjoyed it.” This not only shows genuine interest but also opens the door for further conversation.
This is a crucial step in the progression of your relationship if you want to avoid any embarrassing faux pas or pushing for another date when they’re clearly not interested.
3. Include Callbacks to Your Date Conversation
Including callbacks to specific topics from your date can significantly enhance your text by demonstrating genuine interest and attentiveness.
Mentioning a shared joke, a mutual interest, or a funny moment not only shows that you were engaged during your time together but also fosters a sense of connection.
For example, referencing a favourite band you discussed or a memorable incident can solidify fond memories and show that you valued the conversation.
This thoughtful approach not only reinforces your interest but also encourages further dialogue, paving the way for a potential second date.
4. Ask a Question to Continue the Conversation
Asking questions in your text keeps the conversation lively and engaging. It encourages your date to share their thoughts and helps the dialogue flow naturally. This shows you care about their perspective and fosters a deeper connection.
Questions can open up new topics, making it easier to find shared interests and experiences. These are crucial for building rapport and assessing whether a second date is on the horizon.
Flirty and Friendly Questions to Ask After a First Date
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Examples of What to Text After a First Date
If you’re struggling to find the words to convey how you feel after your first date, here are some examples from our team at Finding The One to help you get started.
You can use these as inspiration or even just copy and paste them if words aren’t your thing.
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Remember: You don’t have to be Shakespeare to get your point across, especially after just one date, so don’t overthink it.
When to Send a First Text After the First Date
Timing can be just as important as the content of your message when it comes to sending that first text. Here’s a guideline to help you find the right moment:
| Immediately After the Date | If the mood was light and fun, consider sending a quick message as soon as you get home. A simple “I had a great time tonight!” can set a positive tone for further interaction. |
| The Morning After | Sending a morning text is ideal. It reminds them of the fun night and gives time for reflection. Something like, “Good morning! Really enjoyed last night. Hope you have a great day!” keeps the chat upbeat and light. |
| Within 24 Hours | If you didn’t message immediately after the date or the next morning, aim to text within a day. This keeps the date fresh in your mind, making it easier to discuss or plan the next meet-up. |
| Up to 48 Hours | If it’s been a day or two, reaching out is still okay, especially if you’re reminded of the date by something specific. However, waiting longer might show disinterest, so try to get in touch within this two-day window. |
| If Uncertain, Follow Their Lead | If your date said they’d reach out or seemed hesitant, it’s probably best to give them space and wait for them to contact you. |
Choosing the right time to send your text can lay a solid foundation for your relationship’s potential future, ensuring that your intentions are clear and your enthusiasm shines through.
When Should You Follow Up?
If you’ve taken the plunge and sent them a text after your date but don’t hear back from them, it can be difficult to know if and when you should send an additional follow up text.
It can be disheartening to not receive a response to your text, especially if you’re excited about the potential relationship, but it’s important not to attribute it to malice when it could be a number of other things.
The most likely explanation is that they read your text and simply forgot to reply. We’ve all responded to a text in our head but forgotten to actually send it!
We’d recommend sending a follow-up text 24 hours after your original message just to give them a nudge. Keep it simple with something like, “Hey, just making sure you’re ok!”.
If you still don’t get a response, it’s best to cut your losses and assume they’re not interested. But don’t feel too bad. No one wants to be with someone who ghosts people!
How to Transition to a Second Date Through Texts
Transitioning the conversation to arranging a second date can be done smoothly by expressing your enjoyment of the first date and suggesting a specific activity.
Start by referencing a shared interest or a memorable moment from your previous outing, then propose a related activity.
For example, you might say, “I really enjoyed our chat about [insert topic]! How about we continue it over coffee this weekend?”.
Another option could be, “I had such a great time at dinner! Would you like to go for a walk at [insert place] next week?”.
These approaches not only highlight your interest but also create a natural progression into making plans. Keeping the tone light and enthusiastic enhances the likelihood of a positive response.
Key Takeaways: How to Nail Texting After a First Date
Getting the tone, content, and timing of your post-first date text right is essential for moving your relationship forward and creating a meaningful connection. A well-written message can show your interest, encourage more conversation, and pave the way for a possible second date.
By being thoughtful and considerate, you not only express your genuine interest but also help both of you move ahead together.
Get prepared for your first date with our guide on how to greet someone on a first date to help you get off on the right foot!
FAQs
How to Flirt Over Text After a First Date?
To flirt over text after a first date, use playful compliments, ask lighthearted questions, and reference shared experiences. Keep the tone fun and cheeky to maintain chemistry while showing genuine interest in your date’s thoughts and feelings.
How to Follow Up After a First Date?
To follow up after a first date, send a message within 24 hours expressing appreciation for the time spent together. Ask how they felt about the date and suggest a specific activity if you’re interested in meeting again.
How to Know if a First Date Went Well?
To gauge if a first date went well, consider the chemistry you felt, how comfortable you both were, and whether the conversation flowed easily. Positive body language and laughter are also good indicators of mutual interest and enjoyment.
Can a Woman Text First After a First Date?
Absolutely! Gone are the days when men did all the courting and women waited around by the phone! If you really like the guy, there’s no reason why you can’t message him first! And before you ask, no, it won’t look desperate! Boys like being cared for, too!
Is It Normal For Texting to Slow Down After the First Date?
Yes, it can be normal for texting to slow down after a first date, as both parties may take time to reflect. However, consistent communication is key to sustaining interest; it’s important to engage without overwhelming each other.