When you start dating someone new, it’s easy to get swept up in the romance and excitement of learning about a new person, but it also makes it easier to make common mistakes that can make a promising relationship fizzle out in the early stages of dating.
That’s why we’ve put together a list of the 9 things to never do in the first month of dating to help you navigate your new relationship.
By avoiding these pitfalls and mistakes, you can give your new romance a better chance of making it past the early stages and transitioning into a blossoming, healthy relationship that’s based on love and respect.
9 Things to Never Do in the First Month of Dating
Whether you’re completely new to dating or you’re getting back into the game after a relationship ends, there are a few common mistakes people tend to make in the first month of dating that can jeopardise the future of a relationship.
Here are the 9 things you should never do in the first month of dating someone.
1. Don’t Plan Too Far into the Future
When you meet someone you really like, it can be easy to get swept up in daydreams of your future together. You might find yourself daydreaming at work about where you’ll live together, your wedding, and even what your children might look like.
While it’s natural to think about your future with someone you’re dating, when you’re in the early stages of getting to know each other, it’s best to keep those thoughts to yourself or journaling them instead of sharing them. It’ll just scare them off!
| Top Tip: Don’t make plans with a new relationship further in advance than you’ve been dating. So, if you’ve only been dating for a week, don’t make plans beyond the following week for the next date. |
2. Don’t Overshare
In a similar vein to not planning too far into the future, it’s important not to overshare with your date. While getting to know each other is the fun part of this stage of a relationship, there’s a delicate balance between showing them who you are and sharing your life story, warts and all!
Although it’s important to be honest when starting a new relationship, keeping an air of mystery helps to keep your date interested and intrigued.
Also, keeping some parts of your story to yourself helps make sure you’re not overwhelming them with information.
3. Avoid the “L” Word at all Costs
If you believe in love at first sight, you might know that you love the person you’re dating within the first month of your relationship. But just because you feel something, it doesn’t mean you have to share it with them.
While people love to be loved, it can be overwhelming to know that the person you’re dating loves you when you haven’t figured out how you feel yet, and a month isn’t very long.
Declaring your love to a new partner can create an unequal dynamic that can open you up to the risk of being manipulated or taken advantage of, so keep your cards close to your chest for now and play it cool!
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What to say instead of the “L” word:
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4. Don’t Buy Something More Than Dinner With Your Date
When you start dating someone you have strong feelings for, it’s easy for the relationship to gain momentum really fast, which can lead to rushing into things that tie you together for an extended period of time.
It goes without saying that you shouldn’t be buying a house with someone you’ve only been dating for a month.
However, that also extends to other, smaller things you can co-purchase that signify a commitment that’s a bit intense for such a short-term relationship.
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We’d recommend avoiding:
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5. Don’t Introduce Them To Your Entire Family
No matter how much you love your family, how great and welcoming they are, or how much you love your new partner, it’s important to avoid introducing them to your entire family too early.
Towards the end of the month, if you’re both on board, you can introduce them to one or two family members or your friends if you want, but we’d recommend saving the family reunion meetings for when you’re past the early days and more established as a couple!
Even if you’re incredibly open with your family, it’s best to stick to just telling them about your new partner instead of introducing them right away.
6. Don’t Talk Badly About Past Relationships
We all have baggage from our past relationships, it’s what makes us who we are, but it’s important not to dunk on your ex at every opportunity.
Of course, the early stages of a relationship can focus heavily on your past relationships and experiences, but you don’t want to come across as bitter or like you’ve got a lot of healing to do from your ex.
Instead, you should focus on the things you learned from your past relationships and how they shaped your outlook on love and life.
| We’re not saying you should only say positive things about your ex, especially if they were abusive or toxic in the relationship. But try to stick to facts as much as possible to avoid straying into venting territory. |
7. Don’t Ask Them for Money
This might seem like an obvious one, but if you’re dating while you’re struggling financially, it can be really tempting to ask the person you’re dating for a small loan to help you out, especially if you like them and see a future with them.
However, this creates an imbalance in the relationship and significantly changes the dynamic, which can hinder any further development and leave you owing money to someone you don’t really know and don’t have a relationship with.
8. Don’t Give Them a Key to Your House
When you’re caught up in the romance of a new relationship, it can be tempting to move forward as fast as possible to ensure you get to spend as much time together as you can around your busy work schedules.
However, giving someone a key to your house isn’t a decision that should be taken lightly!
As sweet as your date may be, they could also be a psycho serial killer and giving them a key to your home isn’t a good idea when you’ve only known them a month. Always look out for narcissistic signs, too.
| If anyone’s pushing you to give them a key to your house, even if they’re offering you one to theirs, it’s a red flag! We recommend maintaining some distance for a while and reevaluating where this relationship is going. |
9. Don’t Ignore Red Flags
Speaking of red flags, our biggest piece of advice for the early stages of dating is don’t ignore red flags!
We understand that it’s easy to view a new partner through rose-tinted glasses, but it’s important to be alert and pay attention to any concerning behaviours they might have, as well as red flags that come through their stories or anecdotes.
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Common signs of red flags include…
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How to Nail the Early Dating Stage
Now that you know what to avoid when starting a new relationship, here are a few things you can do to help make the early dating stage a breeze for you and your new partner.
Keep It Off Social Media
While it’s tempting to show off your new love to the world and your followers, social media isn’t always the healthiest thing for relationships, especially at the start.
When you post images or videos of your relationship online, even with your privacy settings locked down, you invite outside opinions.
We recommend keeping your relationship away from online public displays of affection until at least a few months in when you’re more settled and have a stronger bond.
Set Reasonable Boundaries
When you start a new relationship, it’s important to stay true to yourself, your hobbies, and your social life.
This can often involve setting reasonable boundaries with your new partner regarding when you can spend time together, expectations for messaging, and anything else you want to protect in your life.
Setting these healthy boundaries early on in your relationship helps to keep you both on the same page and protect your existing relationships from the trap of abandoning all other social responsibilities when you enter a new relationship.
Temper Unrealistic Expectations
If you’ve been looking for love for a while or you just love love, it can be easy to dive straight into giving everything to this person.
However, expecting them to be on the same page and cut off anyone else they’re talking to before you’ve talked about being exclusive is unrealistic.
To protect yourself and avoid any unnecessary drama or conflict, it’s important to keep your expectations reasonable. Understand that it might take someone else a little longer to get to the point you’re at emotionally.
Summary: How to Avoid Common Pitfalls of a New Romance
Starting a new relationship with someone is an exciting but fragile time. There are common mistakes that are easy to make that can stunt the progression of your relationship or destroy it completely.
By following this guide, you can make sure your next relationship makes it through the early stages of dating unscathed and leads to a beautiful relationship as you get to know each other properly.
Nail the early stages of a relationship with our advice on how long to wait between a first and second date!
FAQs
Is 1 Month of Dating Serious?
One month of dating doesn’t tend to be considered as a serious relationship because you’re still just getting to know each other and probably haven’t made much of a commitment to each other. With that said, if you both want to define the relationship as serious, then that’s fine, too!
What to Do in the First Month of Dating?
The most important thing to do in the first month of dating is to have fun. At this point, you’re just learning about each other, so keep it light and make the most of this fun stage of your relationship.
What is the 3-Month Dating Rule?
The 3-month dating rule refers to people tending to wait at least 3 months before defining their relationship as exclusive or as a relationship rather than just dating. This isn’t a hard and fast rule, so you can choose to wait longer or define things sooner.
Is 1 Month Too Soon to Be Exclusive?
When you choose to be exclusive as a couple is entirely up to you. You might feel that one month of dating is enough, especially if you’ve seen each other a lot or you already knew each other before dating.
However, as a general rule, we’d say to wait a little longer just to be sure!