With the many forms relationships can take, it can be difficult to know exactly how to define your current situation, especially if it’s new. Are you headed for lasting love, or is it just a casual relationship? Luckily there are a few ways you can tell if your connection has legs or not.
There’s the obvious answer that if they’re making medium to long-term plans with you, they’re likely in it for the long haul.
However, there are more subtle signs that can tell you how serious things are going to get, from how they communicate to how their interest in you manifests.
Let us help you work out if you’re in a relationship or just having a fling and whether it’s a good idea for what you want from love.
The Relationship Definition of a Fling
A fling is typically defined as a short-term, casual relationship that lacks the depth or commitment of a serious partnership. It’s often characterised by spontaneity, passion, and a focus on enjoying the moment rather than planning for the future.
Unlike more committed relationships, flings usually have minimal emotional involvement and are more about having fun or fulfilling immediate desires.
Both parties generally understand that the connection is temporary, making clear communication essential to ensure mutual expectations are aligned.
Are Flings Healthy When Looking for Love?
Casual flings can be totally healthy when they match what you’re looking for, especially during a break between serious relationships.
They’re a chance to connect, have fun, and enjoy the moment without the pressure of something long-term.
For people who know what they want and are happy with casual encounters, flings can be a great way to recharge and reflect before diving into something more serious.
That said, things can get tricky if one person wants more than the other is ready to give. If you’re hoping for commitment, emotional depth, or a future together, a fling might leave you feeling disappointed or hurt.
Misaligned expectations can lead to frustration and mixed feelings, so it’s super important to be honest with yourself and the other person.
Clear communication and self-awareness are key to keeping flings fun and healthy!
Can a Casual Relationship Prevent You From Finding Love?
Having a casual relationship between more serious ones doesn’t mean you can’t find love. It’s really about staying open to deeper connections when the right moment comes along.
Whether it’s a friends-with-benefits situation or juggling a few casual relationships, your mindset is what counts.
Be honest with yourself about what you want, and keep your eyes open for more serious connections when they show up.
You never know. Your next fling might lead to lasting love!
Casual connections can actually help you figure out your needs and wants, so when the time comes for something deeper, you’ll be ready.
Flings can help you realise you want:
- Emotional availability and how much connection you desire.
- Shared interests or values
- Certain levels of physical intimacy
- A sense of security and trust within the relationship
- Time and energy investment that feels balanced
Can a Fling Become a Relationship?
Sure, a fling can turn into a relationship, but it really depends on the people involved and how willing they are to take things to the next level.
Open communication is key — both need to talk honestly about their feelings and what they want. If there’s mutual respect, trust, and emotional availability, things can naturally grow from there.
That said, both partners have to be on the same page about wanting a committed relationship and be ready to navigate any challenges or differences.
Not every fling turns into something serious, but if the feelings and goals align, it’s definitely possible!
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Is It a Fling or a Relationship?
If you’re currently in a situationship and aren’t sure if it’s more a relationship or a fling, it can be confusing. But don’t worry. We’ve got some guidance to help you work out where you stand from how they behave and talk to you.
Let’s take a look…
1. They Didn’t Have Time to Respond to Your Message
These days, most people have their phones glued to them at all times. It’s rare to find someone who leaves the house without it on purpose. (The average person spends 4 hours and 37 minutes on their phone every day)
Because of that, it’s hard to take someone seriously when they say they didn’t have time to respond to your message, especially after they’ve left you on “Read” for hours.
We’re not suggesting a partner has to respond with war and peace to every message you send, but acknowledging it with a simple emoji or auto-reaction is the sign of a committed partner.
If your partner doesn’t give you that courtesy, it might be a sign they’re just interested in something casual.
2. They’re Just Bad At Communication
Some people really do struggle with communication, but using it as an excuse can sometimes be a way to avoid emotional closeness.
If your partner keeps saying they’re “just bad at communication” but doesn’t try to work on it, it might be a sign they’re not taking the relationship seriously.
A partner who truly values the connection will understand that communication matters and put in the effort to get better at it, even if it’s hard for them.
Communication is a skill anyone can learn, and showing a willingness to improve shows they care about and respect the relationship.
If they’re not making any progress, it’s worth asking yourself if they’re just using this excuse to avoid opening up emotionally.
3. They’re Just a Physical Person
Physical intimacy is an important part of many relationships, but it shouldn’t take over everything else.
Spending quality time together, like having meaningful conversations, enjoying shared hobbies, or just hanging out without any physical expectations, is key to building a real emotional connection.
If your partner always prioritises your physical relationship over these things, it might be a red flag. Saying they’re “just a physical person” could be an excuse to avoid building emotional depth.
A healthy relationship needs balance, and focusing only on the physical side might mean they’re not fully invested in creating that deeper emotional bond.
4. They Don’t See Their Family Much
If they mention they don’t see their family much, but you know they’re still on good terms with them, it might make you wonder.
Sure, there are plenty of valid reasons for not involving family in a relationship. Maybe it’s about boundaries or complicated dynamics. But it’s also worth thinking about whether this is just an excuse.
If they’re close to their family but avoid introducing you, it could mean they don’t see the relationship as serious.
It might be their way of keeping things casual, showing they’re not quite ready — or willing — to bring you into that part of their life.
Note:
This can be a tricky one to navigate because unless you’ve had multiple, in-depth conversations about their family dynamics, you never know what their relationship is truly like.
We’d recommend just using this behaviour to back up others instead of as a sole reason why you think the relationship is just a fling.
5. They’re Just a Last Minute Person
If every time you try to plan a proper date, they brush it off with “I’m just a last-minute kind of person,” it might be time to rethink their intentions.
Sure, spontaneity can be fun, but always dodging plans could be a sign they’re not really interested in something deeper. It keeps things surface-level instead of letting the relationship grow into something meaningful.
At the end of the day, it’s simple — if they wanted to, they would.
Someone who’s serious about you will make the effort to plan and prioritise spending real quality time together.
Are You Really Looking for a Quick Fling, or Do You Want More?
Before diving into a new relationship, it’s worth taking a moment to check in with yourself. What really matters to you right now?
Are you looking for fun and excitement without strings attached, or do you want something more grounded and meaningful?
A fling can be exciting and freeing, especially if you’re focusing on yourself and not ready for commitment.
But it’s important to make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons — not just to fill a void or escape feeling lonely.
If what you really want is a deeper connection, it’s worth asking yourself why you might be settling for something casual or whether it’s time to break up.
Are you scared of getting hurt or being vulnerable? Or maybe you’re unsure about what a long-term commitment actually looks like.
Taking the time to understand these feelings can help you figure out if a fling is what you truly want or if it’s just a way to avoid the effort of building something more meaningful.
Being honest with yourself about what you want will give you the clarity to make choices that feel right for you and align with your values.
The Bottom Line: To Fling or Not to Fling
Having a fling can be a fun and freeing way to explore what you want in a partner and enjoy spontaneous connections. However, it’s not the right choice for everyone.
Being upfront about your intentions and setting clear boundaries is essential to avoid misunderstandings or hurt feelings.
Both parties need to agree on expectations and respect each other’s limits. With honesty and communication, a fling can be a positive experience, but it requires thoughtful consideration.
You can find out more about whether short-term relationships are a waste of your time or offer valuable lessons with our guide.
FAQs
What Things Define a Fling?
A fling is a quick, casual romance that’s all about passion and fun, not deep emotional ties. It’s usually free of serious commitments or long-term plans, just a spur-of-the-moment connection and lighthearted companionship.
How Long is a Fling Relationship?
A fling typically lasts anywhere from a few weeks to a few months, depending on how things play out between the people involved.
It’s short and sweet, focusing more on fun and excitement than anything long-term or serious.
Why Do People Want Flings?
People look for flings for all kinds of reasons. Maybe they want some excitement, don’t feel like committing, or just want to try something new.
A fling can be a fun way to shake things up, escape the usual routine, and enjoy some no-strings-attached companionship for a while.
Are Summer Flings Natural?
Summer flings are totally normal! There’s something about the holidays — the relaxed vibe, the sense of adventure — that makes light-hearted connections so appealing. It’s all about having fun, no strings attached, and leaving the everyday pressures behind.
Is a Fling the Same as an Affair?
No. Flings are casual relationships that tend to stay more physical than emotional. They don’t involve any form of infidelity as a general rule.