While having a phone always in your pocket makes it easier to connect with people, you’re not truly connecting. Not in the way that matters. Learning how to connect with someone on a deep level is the key to finding love through online dating, and we’ve got some sound advice on how to do just that.
Online dating can present even more barriers to genuine connection than the modern world already does, but with the right approach, you can break them down and find strong, enduring connections from your online interactions.
You can even find lasting love!
Rather than constant back-and-forth chat about your favourite colour or the weather, you need to spend more time talking about your values, beliefs and passions.
Of course, the person you’re talking to also needs to share this mindset, which we know can be difficult to determine through online communication, but it’s not impossible…
11 Ways to Build a Connection With Someone
Even though your connection with people is going to be unique to the person and the relationship you share, there are some general things you can do to help build a connection with someone when you first meet.
Here’s how to build a connection with someone both online and in person:
1. Be Authentic in Your Communication
Being real in your communication is so important when it comes to building meaningful connections. It lets people see the real you and helps build trust.
Skip the cliché phrases and boring small talk—they usually just lead to surface-level conversations.
Instead, really listen to what the other person is saying and respond thoughtfully. Show genuine interest!
When chatting online, you can be authentic by…
- Sharing personal stories
- Asking meaningful questions
- Being honest about how you feel
Keep it conversational—no need for overly polished or robotic replies. Just be yourself. That’s always the best way to create real connections, even in the digital world.
2. Make Sure You Stay in the Present
When you’re trying to connect with someone, staying present is so important. It shows them they’ve got your full attention and that you really value the interaction.
Even when you’re chatting online, being present (by which we mean responding quickly during an active conversation) helps you engage authentically, respond thoughtfully, and pick up on little details in their words or tone.
But if you’re distracted—maybe by notifications, multitasking, or just letting your mind wander—it can come off as disinterest, which might make the other person feel unimportant.
3. Move Past Surface-Level Emotions
If you want to really connect with someone, you’ve got to go deeper than surface-level chit-chat. It’s about taking the time to understand what truly matters to them and exploring their experiences and feelings.
Skip the small talk as soon as possible and ask open-ended questions that invite them to share more. Instead of “How was your day?” try something like, “What’s something that excited or inspired you today?“
Show genuine curiosity about their answers, and don’t be afraid to share your own feelings, too—being vulnerable builds trust and creates stronger connections.
Be patient; not everyone opens up right away. But by creating a safe, judgment-free space, you’ll make it easier for them to feel comfortable and really share.
With the Finding The One app, you can skip the small talk and get into deeper conversations with our unique platform that encourages you to meet in person rather than sending endless emojis and empty platitudes.
Take the leap and get to know your dates on a deeper level. Download the Finding The One app today!
4. Make Sure You Share the Conversation
Building a real connection is all about balance. If you’re doing all the talking, the other person might feel ignored or left out.
Make sure to leave room for them to share their thoughts, stories, and feelings. Listen actively and show genuine interest in what they’re saying—it goes a long way.
When you let them contribute, you make them feel valued, and you also get to learn more about who they are, which strengthens your bond.
Avoid hogging the conversation by…
- Keeping responses concise
- Pausing and asking questions
- Paying attention to cues
5. Be a Good Listener to Build a Sense of Trust
As well as leaving room in the conversation for the other person to speak, you also need to make sure you’re actually listening to what they’re saying.
Actively listening to someone and responding accordingly to what they tell you is the best way to build their trust in you. When you feel heard by someone, you’re more likely to trust them and open up on a much deeper level.
Engage in active listening by…
- Maintaining eye contact
- Avoiding interrupting
- Using non-verbal cues
- Asking clarifying questions
- Paraphrasing and summarising
6. Express Gratitude & Admiration Genuinely
Showing genuine gratitude and admiration is so important for building a strong connection with someone.
When you give authentic compliments or heartfelt thanks, it shows the other person they’re valued and appreciated, which helps bring you closer. People can tell when your praise is real and that sincerity lays the foundation for a positive, healthy relationship.
But when praise feels fake or forced, it can do more harm than good.
If someone picks up on insincerity, they might feel uncomfortable or even start to question your intentions. It can come across as manipulative and hurt the trust between you.
7. Make Time For Them in Your Busy Life
Making time for someone in your busy life shows they matter to you. Even with a packed schedule, it’s a way of saying, “You’re important to me.”
Taking the effort to carve out time can really strengthen your connection. It sends a clear message that you value the relationship and think it’s worth investing in. This kind of prioritising builds mutual respect and understanding, creating a strong foundation for a lasting bond.
Without that effort, though, relationships can start to feel strained, and the other person might feel overlooked or unimportant, which can hurt trust and connection.
8. Smile & Maintain Eye Contact In Person
When you meet someone in person, little things like making eye contact and sharing a warm smile can go a long way.
Eye contact shows you’re paying attention and that you mean what you say—it helps you come across as confident and genuine. And a real smile? It’s like an instant icebreaker, making both of you feel more comfortable.
These simple gestures build on the connection you’ve already started online, showing you’re open and ready to connect.
9. Work On Being the First to Reach Out
Taking the first step to reach out can really set the stage for a meaningful connection. It shows confidence and interest and that you’re open to engaging, which can make the other person feel special.
A lot of times, people hold back from starting a conversation because they’re unsure or shy. Being the one to break the ice can make things so much easier for both of you.
When you’re starting a conversation, having a few go-to openers can be super helpful.
Try asking something like, “What’s been the highlight of your day so far?” or “If you could travel anywhere right now, where would you go?”
These kinds of questions spark interest and invite the other person to share.
10. Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously
Connecting with people is so much easier when you don’t take yourself too seriously.
Let’s face it—we all have those moments where we trip over our words, spill a drink, or say something a little awkward. It’s just part of being human!
Instead of stressing about it, laughing it off shows you’re confident and down-to-earth. It turns an awkward moment into something light and even funny that you can share with the other person.
People love authenticity, and being able to just roll with it makes interactions way more relaxed and enjoyable for everyone.
11. Talk To A Therapist If Your Mental Health is a Barrier
Feeling like it’s hard to connect with others? You’re not alone. Struggles with things like low self-esteem, anxiety, or depression can make it tough to open up or feel comfortable around people.
It’s like these feelings build walls that are hard to break through. But talking to a therapist can really help. They can work with you to figure out where these feelings come from, share ways to cope, and help you build confidence in yourself and your relationships.
With the right support, you can start breaking down those walls and create meaningful, fulfilling connections with the people in your life.
Here are some useful resources to help you…
- Mind – www.mind.org.uk
- National Counselling Society (NCS) – www.nationalcounsellingsociety.org
- Samaritans – www.samaritans.org
Why Is Connecting With People Important?
Connecting with people is so important—it helps us feel like we belong and gives us the emotional support we all need to thrive.
According to Campaign to End Loneliness, in 2022, almost 50% of adults in the UK reported feeling lonely, so it’s never been more important to connect with others.
Good relationships can ease loneliness, improve our mental health, and even help us physically by lowering stress and building resilience. When we build connections, we get to share experiences, learn from different perspectives, and have a support system when life gets tough.
At the end of the day, strong relationships make life richer, give us purpose, and add more happiness to our everyday lives.
Should You Feel a Connection Before Meeting Up With a Date?
Yes, there should definitely be something that makes you want to meet this person, even if it’s not a super deep connection yet.
Maybe it’s curiosity, shared interests, or just that little spark of understanding—it’s a good starting point. A strong connection can grow over time, but having some level of interest or compatibility upfront helps make the meetup feel worthwhile and fun.
After all, the first meeting is where things really have a chance to click!
Why Do Some People Struggle to Connect Emotionally?
Struggling to connect emotionally? You’re not alone. Sometimes, it comes down to personal experiences—like past trauma or unresolved feelings—that make it hard to open up. For others, it’s the fear of rejection or judgment that holds them back.
Maybe it’s just different communication styles or not fully understanding your own emotions that get in the way.
Whatever the reason, building emotional connections takes time, self-awareness, and a willingness to be vulnerable.
But with a little self-reflection and maybe some professional support, it’s absolutely possible to create stronger, more meaningful relationships.
Can You Learn to Connect With Anyone?
Sure, you can learn to connect with almost anyone on a surface level. Simple things like listening actively, showing empathy, and communicating clearly can really help you build rapport and have positive interactions.
These skills make it easier to engage with people, even if they have different personalities or perspectives. That said, it’s important to remember you’re not going to click with everyone, which is totally okay.
Real connections usually happen when there are shared values, interests, or just a natural vibe, and you can’t force that.
Accepting this takes the pressure off and lets you focus on building relationships that feel genuine and effortless.
Improve Your Ability to Build Connections With Finding The One
Knowing how to connect with people is all about the right mindset and approach. Be yourself, stay open to understanding others, and take your time to let relationships grow naturally. Practice really listening, show genuine interest, and put yourself in others’ shoes—it makes a big difference.
With a positive attitude and staying true to who you are, you’ll find it easier to create meaningful relationships. Like any skill, building connections gets better with a little effort and intention!
You can find more expert tips and advice for starting and maintaining relationships on the Finding The One blog!
FAQs
How Do You Truly Connect With Someone?
Real connection happens when you truly take the time to understand someone. Listen actively, show empathy, and make them feel valued and at ease.
Sharing real experiences and emotions builds trust and strengthens relationships, leading to deeper, more meaningful bonds over time.
Why Do I Feel a Lack of Connection?
Things like fear of opening up, past experiences, or just being too distracted can hinder connections. Take a moment to reflect on how you’re feeling, be honest when you share, and focus on building real connections.
Making time and putting in the effort can help rebuild those bonds and ease the loneliness. Connection takes care and consistency, but it’s so worth it.
Can You Emotionally Connect With Someone Online?
Absolutely, emotional connections can grow online! Honest communication, sharing experiences, and staying engaged are key.
Trust and genuine emotions build a solid foundation.
Sure, being in person helps, but with sincerity, patience, and understanding, meaningful relationships can totally thrive virtually.
How to Tell If a Guy Feels a Connection With You?
If a guy feels a connection with you, you’ll notice it in the way he communicates. He’ll actually listen to what you have to say, show real interest in your thoughts and feelings, and make time for you. He’ll be genuine, share his own experiences, and put in the effort to build a stronger connection with you.