There are five common types of love languages, from quality time to physical touch—most are self-explanatory, but what about the words of affirmation love language?
If you want to accommodate your partner’s love language, this guide is for you.
Speaking fluently in words of affirmation can be confusing and difficult for those who don’t know how to express their feelings verbally.
But for some, this comes naturally, and it’s what they need from a partner to feel loved, seen, and heard.
If you want to understand how your partner feels and make them feel good, keep reading and discover some ways you can make your relationship blossom!
In This Guide:
- What is the 'Words of Affirmation' Love Language?
- Words of Affirmation Examples
- What are the Benefits of Using Words of Affirmation?
- Are Words of Affirmation a Difficult Love Language to Fulfil?
- Final Words: Learn How to Speak the Words of Affirmation Love Language
- FAQs
What is the ‘Words of Affirmation’ Love Language?
The words of affirmation love language is all about showing your partner that you love them through the words you speak or write.
From a simple “Love you” text to a letter, front to back, expressing your love and appreciation of your partner, and acknowledging certain behaviours they carry out, words of affirmation can come in many different forms.
Usually, people who crave words of affirmation are simply looking for reassurance in their relationship or appreciation for their small acts of kindness.
It’s not being needy, and it’s not being oversensitive. It just shows a person prefers verbal expressions of love rather than physical things.
Words of Affirmation Examples
If you’re not the best with words, but your partner has requested words of affirmation because it’s their love language, we’ve got plenty of inspiration for you.
You never know, after reading these, you might actually realise your own love language is words of affirmation.
Gratitude & Appreciation
Words of affirmation rooted in gratitude and appreciation are powerful in any kind of relationship, especially for people who value verbal love.
It’s important to note that people whose love language is words of affirmation often seek acknowledgement and thanks for their actions as acts of love.
Appreciation isn’t just nice to hear — it’s essential to feeling loved, valued, and emotionally secure.
It’s a way of saying, “I see you.”
Here are some examples:
- “I feel lucky to have met someone like you.”
- “You always know how to make me smile.”
- “Thank you for listening. I really value your support.”
- “Thank you for everything you do; even the little things mean so much.”
- “I love how you did this for me.”
Encouragement
It sounds cliché, but encouragement is like emotional fuel. It can mean so much to someone who values words of affirmation.
It makes someone feel believed in, supported, and ultimately, like they aren’t going through something alone. It shows you’re always in their corner.
Here are some examples:
- “I really admire how you carry yourself.”
- “I love how honest you are. It’s a breath of fresh air.”
- “I look up to you more than you realise.”
- “I notice all the little things you do.”
- “Your presence makes any space feel better.”
Respect
Respect is paramount in a relationship. Without it, you can’t hope to be successful.
Saying words of respect will reinforce your partner’s sense of worth within your relationship, not just emotionally, but intellectually and personally.
They need to know they’re valued.
Here are some examples:
- “That’s really annoying for you, and I understand.”
- “I’m here for you and will help you through this.”
- “I might not have the right words, but I’m here to listen.”
- “Your feelings matter, and I take them seriously.”
- “Whether you need to vent or sit in silence, I’m here.”
Empathy
Words of empathy are more than just comforting for someone who requires words of affirmation. They’re essential for feeling emotionally safe and supported.
Using kind words also shows you’re listening to and understanding their situation. Even if you don’t know how to solve their problems, the very fact that you understand will do more to help them than you think.
Here are some examples:
- “That’s really annoying for you, and I understand.”
- “I’m here for you and will help you through this.”
- “I might not have the right words, but I’m here to listen.”
- “Your feelings matter, and I take them seriously.”
- “Whether you need to vent or sit in silence, I’m here.”
Compliments
For someone whose primary love language is words of affirmation, compliments aren’t about ego or fishing for praise—they’re about feeling secure in their emotional connection.
They also do wonders for reassurance and building up confidence, which is never a bad thing.
Plus, compliments keep the romance flowing, especially during moments of intimacy.
Here are some examples:
- “I love how thoughtful you are.”
- “Your smile makes me smile throughout the day.”
- “I love the way you do that.”
- “You look beautiful today.”
- “You smell amazing today.”
Love
This one is kind of obvious, but it’s not always the easiest to say, especially if you find expressing how you feel difficult.
You have to remember that your partner can’t just know they’re loved; they need to feel it, and if words of affirmation provide that, you should try to use them.
Here are some examples:
- “Loving you feels so natural.”
- “You still give me butterflies.”
- “You’ve shown me what real love feels like, and I’m so grateful.”
- “You mean everything to me.”
- “Loving you has brought out the best version of me.”
What are the Benefits of Using Words of Affirmation?
According to Dr Michelle Rosser-Majors, Associate Professor and Program Chair for the Bachelor of Arts in Psychology at UAGC, words of affirmation invite more than just a warm, fuzzy feeling.
She says, “As human beings, we aspire to feel competent, valued and appreciated. Positive words have this type of power, creating the solid foundations needed to build strong, productive relationships that resonate clear lines of communication.”
In simple terms, words of affirmation are beneficial for creating good communication between you and your partner (especially if it’s both of your love languages).
When you feel comfortable, confident, and respected, you’re more likely to engage in open conversations with your partner, enhancing your relationship.
Not to mention the increased intimacy that comes with words of affirmation. A simple mood-boost with a compliment can go a long way (or straight to the bedroom).
Are Words of Affirmation a Difficult Love Language to Fulfil?
If you’re not big on gushy, soppy compliments and saying or even receiving them makes you feel icky, you’re not alone.
In fact, according to a recent American survey, 27% of people struggle with words of affirmation, and 29% of people think others struggle to express them.
Other reasons you might find it hard could be fear of rejection, vulnerability, or even just a lack of awareness.
The point is, not everyone finds it easy to express words of affirmation, so here are some ways to overcome your difficulty.
- Write it down instead: Small notes, a simple letter, or even a text, are the easiest way to share words of affirmation without actually speaking.
- Don’t be overly affectionate if that’s not your style: A simple “You look good today” or “Thanks for your help” can go a long way.
- Take note of how they respond: If your partner lights up after your words of affirmation, this might encourage you to continue.
- Steal inspiration: If you’re not good with words, look some up! There’s no shame in borrowing a prompt. It’s the thought that counts.
- Be honest: If you’re really trying, tell your partner! They’ll appreciate the honesty and see that you’re making an effort to make them feel good.
Final Words: Learn How to Speak the Words of Affirmation Love Language
Learning how to speak the words of affirmation love language will bring you and your partner closer than ever.
The simple act of understanding their needs can go a long way, and actually participating in this type of love language will strengthen your bond in ways you have yet to experience.
So next time you see your partner, try speaking a quick compliment, meaningful thanks, or a word of encouragement. Or, drop them a text now, as you’re reading this, and see how much you can improve their mood.
If you’re looking for more information on love languages or advice on navigating your relationship, head to the Wisp blog!
FAQs
How Do You Tell Someone You Need Words of Affirmation?
Honesty and self-awareness. If your love language is words of affirmation, you need to own it and communicate it to your partner.
Help them understand that it’s not about vanity or the need for constant validation, it’s about feeling emotionally connected to each other.
What to Avoid if Your Partner’s Love Language is Words of Affirmation?
If your partner’s love language is words of affirmation, the way you talk to them (or don’t) can have a huge emotional impact.
Here are some things you should try to avoid if this is your partner’s love language and not yours:
- Being silent or withholding emotion
- Backhanded compliments or sarcasm
- Forgetting to acknowledge effort
- Saying things you don’t mean
- Calling them needy or too sensitive
What Hurts a Person Whose Love Language is Words of Affirmation?
When a person’s love language is words of affirmation, their emotions are closely connected to the words they hear.
Remember, if your words can lift them up, they can also tear them down. Be careful not to be mocking or sarcastic, never undermine their feelings, and don’t use harsh words during arguments.
How Do You Show Love Through Words of Affirmation?
There are hundreds of ways to show love through words of affirmation. From words of encouragement to respect, compliments, and empathy.
For specific examples, scroll to the blog post above!