If the thought of dating stresses you out, or you no longer find it an enjoyable experience, you could be experiencing burnout, and you’ll be further than ever from finding the one. So if you want to find out how to avoid dating fatigue, this guide is for you.
We’ll help you understand what dating fatigue is and why you might be experiencing online dating frustration. And then, we’ll tell you how to stop it.
And trust us, once you’ve nipped this feeling in the bud, dating will be much, much more exciting and fun.
In This Guide:
- What is Dating Fatigue?
- Is it Normal to Find Online Dating Exhausting?
- 7 Tips to Avoid Online Dating Fatigue
- How to Not Get Discouraged with Online Dating
- Conclusion: Avoiding Dating Fatigue
- FAQs
What is Dating Fatigue?
Ever felt fed up with dating? Maybe the thought of it makes you feel stressed, annoyed, or even frustrated? Sounds like you might be experiencing dating fatigue.
Dating fatigue, or dating burnout, is the emotional and mental exhaustion that comes from the process of online and regular dating.
According to Sheila Robinson-Kiss, therapist and mental health educator, daters need to navigate rejection, the right time to meet, moods that range between euphoria and disappointment, being ghosted, and possibly managing multiple dating relationships.
When you put it like that, it’s no wonder people experience online dating frustration and burnout.
Dating fatigue can impact your self-esteem, mental health, and how you approach future relationships.
If left unchecked, it can lead to emotional burnout or make you settle for something that doesn’t really suit you, just to get it over with.
And that’s not how dating should make you feel. It should be fun, freeing, and romantic.
Why Does Dating Fatigue Happen?
Well, first of all, a lot of apps provide thousands of choices, making the online dating space extremely overwhelming. You end up scrolling endlessly and judging people based on a three-second glance.
Then, when you do find a match, the convo is shallow, and it’s easy to get stuck in a constant loop of “Hey, wuu2?” which can become draining and meaningless.
With those aspects paired with common ghosting and rejection, emotional investment with little return, and constant pressure to find the one, dating fatigue is inevitable.
Is it Normal to Find Online Dating Exhausting?
According to a Forbes Health survey, 79% of dating app users reported dating fatigue, so you’re definitely not alone if you think this is happening to you.
In this digital age, everything is available to us in excess, and the same is true of online dating. Of course, it’s normal to feel burnt out, because it can be seriously overwhelming.
While dating fatigue is common, it shouldn’t be as normalised as it is. If you think you’re experiencing dating fatigue, you should do what you can to combat it.
Ditch your usual dating apps and try something new.
Wisp is designed to avoid the dating fatigue and make you fall in love with dating again, because we focus on quality, not quantity.
We’ve created an algorithm that specifically matches you with others based on your compatibility, so as you’re swiping through potential matches, you’ll know they’ve been chosen for you.
Forget the endless massaging and scrolling, too.
When you find your match, we’ll help you plan the perfect date, so you can see if there’s a spark in person, rather than meaningless messaging.
So, if you’re ready to meet like-minded people and actually make it to the date, download Wisp today and let us help you on your journey.
7 Tips to Avoid Online Dating Fatigue
If you’re looking for ways to avoid the dreaded dating fatigue or get out of your current funk, we’ve got exactly what you need.
Dating is supposed to be a time to enjoy new beginnings, connect with new people, learn things about yourself, and, of course, bring some romance into your life.
So, with that in mind, let’s get into our suggestions. Here are seven methods to help you enjoy the dating experience again.
1. Take a Break Without Guilt
Dating fatigue builds when you constantly give your energy to others without refilling your own cup.
A break isn’t ‘giving up’—it’s reclaiming your energy.
When you step away from online dating, you give yourself the space to recover emotionally, rediscover the joy of being alone, rebuild confidence, and focus on what you really want.
It can be hard to take a well-needed break if you’re in the cycle of checking your apps multiple times a day, but here are some things you can do to keep yourself in the right mindset:
- Reevaluate the apps you’re using. If you find yourself constantly swiping and feeling drained, maybe it’s time to delete some and focus on just one that works (like Wisp; shameless promo).
- Treat it as self-care, not failure. Don’t worry—you’re not done here yet; you just need to focus on yourself for a while.
- Don’t keep one foot in; if you’re going to do it, do it. No checking messages ‘just in case‘.
- Remind yourself you’re not falling behind. Love has no timeline, and everyone’s experiences are different. Taking a few months off won’t turn you into a dried-up spinster.
2. Set Boundaries with Apps
A lot of dating apps are designed to keep you engaged with constant swiping and dopamine hits from matching, and without boundaries (or without the right dating app), online dating can quickly feel obligatory and a source of stress.
So, what boundaries should you take?
Well, there are a few.
First, limit the time you spend on your apps. Aim for 15-30 minutes each day, or try using them only at certain times, like in the morning or after dinner.
Remember, you don’t need to use dating apps every day either; that way, dating doesn’t take over your whole life.
Other things you can do include…
- Sticking to one dating app at a time. You don’t need them all.
- Limit the number of conversations at once. You don’t need to make more matches if you haven’t finished exploring your current ones.
- Be clear about your intentions, so you can save yourself time, mismatches, and potential disappointment.
- Protect your energy after a bad experience. If you’ve just been ghosted, don’t try to make up for it by trolling your apps.
- Decide when to log off and stick to it. Dating is only part of your life, not your whole identity.
3. Realign Your Intentions
You might be thinking, what does this mean, and why would this help me? But you’d be surprised how many people forget their reasons for dating in the first place, and it almost turns into a game of how many people you can match with.
So, ask yourself, why am I dating right now? What do I genuinely want emotionally, physically, and mentally? Am I dating because I want to, or because I feel like I should?
Dating fatigue often sets in when we swipe, chat, and go on dates out of habit, loneliness, boredom, or pressure, not intention. By coming back to your reason, you shift from autopilot to conscious choice.
Remember to always check in with yourself and celebrate the successes, e.g., a good conversation or finding out someone isn’t right for you. It’s all bringing you one step closer to finding your perfect match (if that’s what you’re looking for).
4. Be Clear About What You Want
When you’re not clear on what you want, dating can become confusing, aimless, and emotionally draining. This is why it’s crucial to figure out what you want first and express that to potential matches.
Otherwise, you’ll constantly be matching with the wrong kind of people while setting yourself up for disappointment.
If you’re struggling to decide what you want, here are some questions to ask yourself:
- What are your non-negotiables?
- What are you not available for?
- Where do you want your match to go?
To make this clear to potential matches, include it in your profile, talk about it early on, and always stick to your standards to help with dating fatigue.
5. Avoid Back-to-Back Dates
Overbooking your dating calendar can quickly turn the process into a chore, not something you enjoy.
While it’s tempting to ‘make the most’ out of your app, it can get seriously mentally exhausting.
You should always aim to give yourself some time after a date to reflect on where you want things to go. It’s difficult to do this if you’re constantly focusing on the next one.
If you’re engaging in this, it’s sometimes called filler dating, which means you’re dating because you think you should, not because you want to.
Instead, we recommend slowing the pace and giving yourself ample space between dates. This will allow you to show up to dates with better energy, help you make clearer decisions, avoid emotional overload, and help you stay connected to yourself.
6. Reconnect with Yourself
When the dating world isn’t working for you, it’s time to switch it up and focus on yourself for a change.
While you’re in a never-ending spiral of swiping, matching, dating, mismatches, ghosting, and all the rest, it’s super easy to shift the focus from yourself and put it on other people who don’t actually mean anything to you.
Not having a connection with yourself not only causes dating fatigue, but it also leads to low self-esteem, a detachment from your thoughts, and a need for validation from others.
If this sounds like you, here are some ways to easily reconnect with your true self:
- Creating a space away from dating to enjoy hobbies and time with friends and family.
- Rediscover your values and what you want from dating.
- Go on solo dates! Yes, we said it, take yourself out for a change.
- Remind yourself you are worthy of love and peace.
7. Don’t Take Mismatches Personally
Lastly, stop taking everything so personally. No one can possibly understand who you really are from a dating profile and a few generic messages.
If you’re taking ghosting, breadcrumbing, and dry texts personally, you’re probably experiencing serious dating fatigue.
Constant disappointment and low feelings are extremely mentally draining, so we can understand why you’re feeling this way.
But, as wrong as it is to do to someone, you just can’t take it personally.
The truth is, not every connection will work out, and it’s not always in your control. So, if you want to try to take mismatches less personally to avoid dating fatigue, here are some tips:
- Detach your worth from the outcome. The right person won’t be unsure about you.
- Celebrate the clarity. When something doesn’t work out, see it as a lesson and as being one step closer to finding the one for you.
- Treat yourself with compassion and be gentle with yourself after a mismatch.
- Change the focus. Instead of thinking ‘I wasn’t what they wanted‘, think ‘That wasn’t the right fit, but I’m happy I tried.’
How to Not Get Discouraged with Online Dating
Dating can be an emotional rollercoaster, and if it’s not going well for you at the moment, it can be really discouraging.
It’s totally normal to feel like this sometimes, especially when your efforts seem unnoticed, conversations fizzle out, or connections don’t go anywhere.
Discouragement happens when we pour energy into something without seeing immediate results. But dating isn’t a linear process—it’s a journey of self-discovery and connection.
Sometimes it will feel slow, and at other times exciting. Your job isn’t to force outcomes—it’s to stay grounded, open, and authentic.
But the good news is, there are ways to protect your mindset and stay hopeful without burning out:
- Detach from the made-up timeline in your head. Dating doesn’t have one.
- Focus on what you can control. E.g. how much time you spend on the apps, who you choose to connect with, etc.
- Know when to take a step back.
Conclusion: Avoiding Dating Fatigue
So, if you think you’re experiencing dating fatigue or want to avoid it as much as possible, we hope we’ve given you some valuable tips on how to continue your dating journey.
It’s all about having a healthy mindset and remembering to put yourself above all else.
After all, dating is supposed to be a fun experience full of growth and new connections! Enjoying it is essential for success.
If you want some more helpful dating advice, please head to our blog, and if you’re ready to start matching with like-minded people without spending ages getting to know each other through a screen, download the Wisp app.
Genuine connections are made in person, so find out if you have a spark with your match on a date planned with us, and create a Wisp profile today!
FAQs
Why Am I So Tired of Dating?
Dating can be tiring for many reasons, but it probably means you have dating fatigue. This can happen for reasons such as endless swiping, disappointments, and too much emotional investment.
If you want to read more about dating fatigue and how to avoid/stop it, scroll up to the blog post above.
How Do I Not Feel Defeated When Online Dating?
There are many techniques to prevent you from feeling this way, including taking breaks, focusing on yourself and your intentions, and remembering your worth.
Why Does Dating Stress Me Out?
Dating really shouldn’t be stressful—it should be a joyous time celebrating new connections, getting to know yourself better, and experiencing a bit of romance. If it’s stressing you out, you’re probably experiencing dating fatigue.
Take some time away from the dating apps and focus on yourself for a while.
How Do I Stay Resilient When Dating?
Take the pressure off yourself! There really is no set timeline for finding love and just because you haven’t found someone yet doesn’t mean that you won’t.
Instead of focusing on the end goal, enjoy the process and have fun getting to know new people.