First dates are exciting, nerve-wracking, and a bunch of other emotions we can’t think of words to use to describe. But one thing they shouldn’t make you feel is worried about your wellbeing, and there are certain first date safety tips that can help you feel more at ease and, well, safe.
In This Guide:
- First Date Safety Tips for Everyone
- Tip #1 Check Their Socials
- Tip #2 Agree on a Safe Code with a Friend or Family Member
- Tip #3 Drive Yourself or Get an Uber
- Tip #4 Always Meet in a Public Place
- Tip #5 Charge Your Phone
- Tip #6 Don't Drink Too Much Alcohol
- Tip #7 Don't Stay If You Feel Uncomfortable
- Tip #8 Be a Little Private
- Tip #9 There's Always an Option for a Double Date
- Tip #10 Tell Someone Where You’re Going
- Safety Tips for Online Dating Sites
- Final Words: Meeting Strangers Comes With Risk, But One That'll Pay Off
- FAQs
That first face-to-face meet-up with someone is absolutely scary, and it is natural for your mind to start spinning about all the things that could go wrong. Not useful, brain!
But taking precautions to ensure you’re safe during this first date isn’t one of those things you should just brush over.
We’re not saying you need to have a friend lurking behind you at all times (although, if that’s what will make you comfortable, then by all means go for it!). There are just some small things you can do to give you more confidence that you’re headed into this first date with a safety net.
Getting to know someone new should be fun, not frightening. That’s why we’re sharing our tips.
Peace of mind before a first date is essential for settling those nerves and focusing on flying sparks!
Let’s get discussing.
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First Date Safety Tips for Everyone
There’s lots of advice out there about staying safe when dating, but we’ve whittled it down to our top 10 most important tips, which apply to each and every one of you singletons out there.
Tip 1) Check their socials
Tip 2) Agree on a safe code with friends or family
Tip 3) Take your own transport
Tip 4) Always meet in a public place (this is dating safety 101)
Tip 5) Charge your phone
Tip 6) Don’t drink too much
Tip 7) Don’t stay if you feel uncomfortable
Tip 8) Be a little private
Tip 9) Double date it if you can
Tip 10) Tell someone where you’re going
Tip #1 Check Their Socials
Doing a background check on the stranger you’re about to meet for the first time is totally valid, and whoever says they don’t do this is lying.
There’s nothing wrong with asking your match for their socials before you head out together; chances are, they’ll probably want to look at yours too.
And if they don’t share the info, ask yourself why, because there’s probably a reason for that.
When doing your social media stalking, though, just make sure you don’t accidentally like any posts from waaayyy back…
@wispdating Oops… 😬 #Meme #MemeCut #capcut #f#findingtheonef#ftod#datingappd#datingr#relationships#singlelifec#couplegoalst#theonel#loveo#onlinedatingl#lookingforloves#singlesd#datingtipsd#datingadviced#datinglifer#relationshipsr#relationshipgoalsd#datingonlines#singlef#findloved#datingsiter#relationshipadvicec#couplesc#comingsoonu#ukl#londone#englandi#irelands#scotlandwales #funny #relatable ♬ original sound – Wisp – Get Set to Meet
Tip #2 Agree on a Safe Code with a Friend or Family Member
Sounds dramatic, but this really is the safest thing you can do when you’re going on a first date.
You have to remember that you’re basically meeting a total stranger, so you should do the most you can to minimise the risks.
Before you head out, tell a friend or family member that you’re going to send them a code if you feel uncomfortable and want to leave.
When they receive the code, they can either ring you and fake an emergency, ‘bump’ into you, and stay with you for the rest of the date, or just pick you up from the place.
Examples of Effective Code Words
- “I’m having a great time :)” – Use this if you’re worried your date might see your text messages.
- “Jelly” – Something seriously random, but quick and easy to type.
- Add “!” to the end of every sentence – You could use any punctuation, but the point is to use something undetectable that your friend or family member instantly recognises.
- Send an emoji – Sometimes, sending a simple emoji is the fastest and easiest code to send to a friend.
Tip #3 Drive Yourself or Get an Uber
Never arrange for your date to pick you up for your date. We always recommend driving yourself, or getting an Uber or a taxi to the location.
This is so you have full control over the situation. You can leave when you want, park where you feel safe, and you don’t have to go home with them.
Your date might expect to come into your home once they’ve dropped you off after the date, and while this should never be expected after meeting someone for the first time (or at any time for that matter), they might get the wrong idea.
Tip #4 Always Meet in a Public Place
This goes without saying, and you’ve probably been told this 1000 times, but meeting someone for the first time in an area with high foot traffic will be much safer than meeting at your date’s house, in a remote location, or in a bar far from the main street.
We also recommend picking the place if you’re having some anxiety about meeting your date for the first time.
That way, you can find out where the exits are, see if they have an ‘Ask Angela‘ policy in place, or what the vibes are like before you even get there.
However, we don’t recommend choosing somewhere you go often, like your local coffee shop, pub, or favourite restaurant.
You can introduce these places later if you continue to date, but if the initial date didn’t go well and you get a weird vibe from them, there’s a chance they could go back to these places expecting to see you there.
Not only can this be super awkward, but it also borders on stalking.
Tip #5 Charge Your Phone
Not that anyone leaves their house without a fully charged phone these days, but if it slipped your mind, always charge your phone as much as possible before you go on your first date.
You need your contacts to be easily accessible; you might need to book an Uber, or you might need to use Google. You can’t do any of that if your phone is dead.
Tip #6 Don’t Drink Too Much Alcohol
If you want to remain alert, it’s definitely not a good idea to go crazy with the cocktails or sink the pints.
Of course, a cheeky drink to settle the nerves is the norm for many daters (a lot of first dates are also centred around pubs and bars, too), but it’s best to limit yourself so you can be alert to all situations.
Not only is getting sloshed on a first date dangerous, but it can also be embarrassing and leave a bad first impression.
Over-consumption causes slurred speech, blurred vision, and a loss of proper coordination, which can lead to serious awkward moments, especially if your date is stone-cold sober.
So, while it’s okay to enjoy a drink on a first date, be mindful of your limit.
And if you want to keep drink out of it completely, plan an activity date or something during the day where you’ll be less inclined to get a round in.
Tip #7 Don’t Stay If You Feel Uncomfortable
No one is forcing you to stay on a date if you don’t think the person is right for you, or if you feel things getting uncomfortable.
If you’re worried about upsetting them, you don’t have to be rude. You can say something like, “I’m really sorry, but I don’t think this is working for me, so I think I’m going to go.”
But if you don’t want to deal with the awkwardness of that conversation (fair enough), you can always make something up and message them later to say you had a nice time, but would like to just be friends.
There’s no point wasting your time or theirs if you have a gut instinct that things won’t work out.
Here’s a list of polite and believable excuses you might want to use to leave early:
- “I just remembered I’ve got an early start tomorrow — I can’t be out too late.”
Ideal for evening dates; simple and uncontroversial. - “I’ve started to feel a bit unwell — I think I need to head home.”
Effective if you want to leave quickly without much discussion. - “A friend just messaged — they’re going through something and need to talk.”
Offers a sense of urgency and social responsibility. - “My phone’s been buzzing — there’s a family issue I need to check in on.”
Gives you a graceful out without seeming rude. - “I forgot I’d promised to help someone with something this evening — I need to get going.”
Works well if you need a fast and neutral exit. - “I’ve suddenly remembered I left something important on — I need to go sort it.”
Think oven, straighteners, iron — safe and believable. - “I just don’t feel 100% myself tonight. I think it’s best if I call it early.”
Gives you space while being honest about your boundaries. - “I double-booked by accident and really need to get to the other commitment.”
Especially effective for daytime or coffee dates. - “My pet isn’t well, and I want to check on them.”
Pet-related excuses are hard to argue with and very relatable. - “I’ve just realised I’m not feeling a spark — but thank you for meeting up.”
For those who want to be direct but still respectful.
- “I’ve just remembered I have an appointment I need to prepare for.”
Perfect for afternoon or early evening dates — adds a time-sensitive reason. - “I’ve got a work deadline I need to get back to — totally forgot how much I still have to do.”
Especially believable for professionals or students. - “I’m starting to feel really tired — I think I overdid it earlier today.”
Casual and low-pressure, especially good if you want to keep things friendly. - “I promised myself I wouldn’t stay out too long — trying to stick to better habits.”
Healthy boundary setting that doesn’t offend. - “A friend is picking me up soon — we had plans right after this.” Useful if you want a fixed endpoint without seeming abrupt.
@wispdating Not a vibe. #CapCut #fyp #foryou #foryoupage #viral #datingapp #uk #love #awkward ♬ original sound – Wisp – Get Set to Meet
Tip #8 Be a Little Private
You don’t have to share your whole life story with someone on the very first date.
In fact, leaving a bit to the imagination causes intrigue and mystery, which is one, sexy, and two, grounds for a second date.
However, there is also a safety element involved.
If you give away where you work, where you live, who your family are, and more, you’re giving away your details to a total stranger you’ve primarily spoken to over message.
For most, this is an innocent exchange when someone gets to know another, but if someone dangerous had this information, your security could be at risk.
That’s why it’s always best to err on the side of caution until you’ve had a few dates and feel comfortable with the person.
Tip #9 There’s Always an Option for a Double Date
If you’re not a regular dater and the thought of first dates gives you serious anxiety, don’t worry, you’re not alone.
Double dating can be a great way to be comfortable in an uncomfortable setting. You get to meet your match while being with one of your friends — you know what they say, safety in numbers.
Plus, double dating is seriously fun. Getting to meet someone you fancy while you’re with your pal? Sounds great to us.
Tip #10 Tell Someone Where You’re Going
We know that sometimes talking about your dating life can feel a bit explosive, but it’s important to let someone know where you’re going on a date.
It doesn’t have to be your entire friend group, but at least one person should know the details of your date. Tell them where you’re going, what time you plan to be there, and any info you have on the person you’re meeting.
If you want to, you can turn on your phone’s location sharing with that person so they can track your whereabouts in case of emergency.
This is about safety, but it can actually help you get excited about the date as well!
Knowing that someone else knows where you are going can give you a sense of security and make you feel more at ease during your date. Sharing the details with a friend or family member can help build excitement for the upcoming outing, too.
Safety Tips for Online Dating Sites
If you want to make sure the date is safe, you need to be safe while you’re in the online phase, too.
If you were safe in the run-up to the date, chances are the date will be perfectly safe as well. It’s all about minimising the risk for the best possible outcome.
Here are our online dating safety tips before you come face-to-face with your match on the first date:
- Look for inconsistencies in their profile: The last thing you want is to be catfished.
- Don’t feel pressured to share photos, your address, or phone number: Remember, the person you’re talking to is a stranger, and you wouldn’t offer up this information to anyone you met in the street.
- Be aware of fake dating apps: Some scams present themselves as dating apps. Be sure to use a reputable one, like Wisp.
- Trust your gut: If you think something feels off, chances are, it’s because something is off.
- Stay on the app: Until you have a good sense of the person, it’s best to stay chatting on the dating app or site. Users with bad intentions often try to move the convo to text or social media to bypass any safety filters.
- Be on high alert for red flags: You know the score. Any love-bombing, asking for money, pressure for explicit photos, or inconsistent stories are immediate no-nos, and you should cease contact.
Final Words: Meeting Strangers Comes With Risk, But One That’ll Pay Off
Meeting up with strangers you first meet online can be a risky business, but by taking measures like the ones we talked about today, the risk is significantly lowered. You just have to think logically.
After all, the best relationships can form if you just take the leap to your first date! Think of all the healthy, fulfilling connections you could miss out on in fear of going on your first date.
Stick to our tips, and you’ll be good to go!
If you’re hoping to meet like-minded people looking for serious relationships, all while doing so safely and securely, why not make a Wisp profile?
Here at Wisp, we take safety seriously, which is why every profile is verified, and we have strict guidelines in place to stop harassment and inappropriate behaviour towards our users.
With our help, you can make genuine, meaningful connections that focus on creating the spark in real life, not over messages.
Download Wisp today and take the first step in finding your perfect match!
FAQs
How Intimate Should a First Date Be?
This seriously depends on yours and the other person’s boundaries, feelings, and comfort, because there is no set rule on how intimate a first date should be.
Communication is key here, and you shouldn’t do anything you don’t want to do, or allow anyone to pressure you.
Equally, you cannot pressure someone else to do something they may not want to do. Everyone has their own preferences and expectations.
Read more in our blog post discussing whether you should have sex on the first date.
What Are the Dos & Don’ts of a First Date?
A successful first date depends on creating a positive and comfortable atmosphere. Show genuine interest by asking thoughtful questions, listening actively, and engaging in shared conversation, rather than dominating it.
Be yourself, be honest, and express appreciation for their time. The goal is to see if there’s a connection and to leave a positive impression for a potential second date.
If you’re looking for things not to do, here are a few: Get too drunk, start talking politics early on, sit there glued to your phone, and keep the conversation one-sided.
What Are the Rules of Online Dating Safety?
Being safe when online dating is super important because it involves chatting with, meeting, and engaging with strangers. So, of course, there is an element of risk.
Below are some ‘rules‘ you can live by if you want to date safely online. For more, please head to our blog post above!
- Meet up for the first time in a public space
- Check their profile for inconsistencies
- Don’t feel pressured into sharing private or personal information
- Trust your gut
- Have a phone call before you meet your match
How Do I Stop Being Scared on a First Date?
It’s completely normal to feel nervous before a first date, but you can manage these feelings by shifting your perspective and focusing on preparation.
Take the pressure off yourself by remembering that the goal isn’t necessarily a long-term relationship, but to assess compatibility and enjoy the vibes.
Before you go, boost your confidence by dressing in something that makes you feel good and reminding yourself of your positive qualities.
And most importantly, take as many precautions as you need to feel safe. This will reduce any anxieties, especially if your fear of first dates is down to meeting a stranger.