Have you ever gone on a first date, only to realise that your match is definitely not what they looked like in their profile? That’s catfishing, and it’s more common than you might think. That’s why we’re here to give you our top tips on how to avoid being catfished.
In our current digital age, catfishing has become more successful than ever, leaving online daters feeling embarrassed, hurt, and confused.
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But we’re here to help with that.
Read on for everything you need to know about catfishing so we can all work to prevent it.
If you want to date online in a space free from catfishers, consider downloading Wisp today!
All our users are verified, and we have strict guidelines against harassment and inappropriate behaviour, so you can have peace of mind knowing you’re safe, secure, and making matches with real people.
Create your profile on Wisp today, and get one step closer to meeting your perfect match!
What is Catfishing?
Catfishing, in a nutshell, is someone pretending to be someone they’re not online.
Ever heard of the TV show Catfish?
Back in the day, Max and Nev (these days it’s just Nev), the two presenters, would catch catfishers in documentary style. It was pretty entertaining.
While the show’s realness has often been questioned (there’s obviously some kind of reality TV show element), the main message has always been real, and that’s that people all too often pretend to be someone they’re not, so you have to always be cautious of online relationships.
Catfishing can come in many forms, from doctoring photos of yourself on your dating profile and social media to pretending to be a whole other person in hopes of making a match.
All forms are completely unacceptable, and just know if this has happened to you, you’re not alone, and it’s not your fault.
Why Do People Catfish?
Below are some reasons people might catfish:
- Loneliness or low self-esteem: Some people catfish because they think it’s the only way they’ll meet someone they can form a relationship with. But the reality is that this will never work, because the other person will realise they’ve been living a lie.
- Desire for emotional connection: People need companionship and healthy relationships to have a fulfilling life, and for some, this is difficult to create in real life. So, they might create an online persona to find connections they feel are out of reach for their true selves.
- Escapism: Pretending to be someone you’re not is basically a way to live in a fantasy. If people are seriously unhappy with their current situation, catfishing might be a way to escape it.
- Revenge or manipulation: Catfishing can also be a form of control, payback, or even a power play. It might involve tricking an ex who hurt them to cause emotional harm.
- Financial gain or scams: A lot of people do it for the money. They prey on vulnerable people, and when the time’s right, they can ask for money, gifts, or bank details.
When it comes down to it, there isn’t just one reason why people catfish, and it differs from person to person.
While some reasons can be totally harmless (albeit still wrong), others can be malicious intent, wanting to manipulate or control others.
The point is that if you’ve been catfished or worried that you might be, you should know that it’s not your fault and you’re not to blame.
How to Tell if Someone is a Catfish: 7 Clues to Watch Out for to Avoid Being Catfished
It’s not always easy to tell if you’re being catfished or not, especially if they’re professional scammers or do this sort of thing a lot.
But there are some red flags that should ring alarm bells.
Below is a list of things to watch out for when making connections online. While some can be genuine, others might not be, so it’s best to be cautious if you notice any of these things with your most recent match.
Let’s get into it.
#1 They Avoid Video Chat & Face-to-Face Meetings
If you’ve been chatting to someone for a while and think it’s time to video chat or meet face-to-face, but they change the subject or suggest prolonging it for another few weeks, there’s a chance they’re not who they say they are.
It’s completely normal for people to be nervous and have anxiety about dating and relationships. This is why these clues are never foolproof, but we would suggest being cautious if you already have your reservations.
Video calling and meeting your matches are natural progressions of dating.
If someone doesn’t want to engage in these things, you have to ask yourself whether they are who they say they are.
#2 Their Photos Look AI-Generated
There are some pretty good-looking people in this world, but not everyone is picture-perfect.
With AI literally taking over at the moment (we don’t know about you, but we can’t seem to get away from those creepy TikTok videos of people’s cats as humans), anyone can go in and edit a picture of themselves, or even generate a complete random one to use as their profile pic.
In these circumstances, people often have low self-esteem and only feel confident when pretending to be someone else.
While you have to have empathy for these people, it doesn’t make it any less wrong.
If someone’s profile is filled with photography-grade photos, it’s worth cross-referencing them with their social media profiles, or even suggesting a video call.
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#3 They Love Bomb
Never heard of love-bombing? Let’s get you up to speed.
Love bombing is when someone is seriously intense after you’ve only spoken a few times.
They might express their love for you, offer to send you gifts, want to get into a relationship already, or send you messages 24/7.
If someone is this romantically invested after only a few chats, you have to question their motive.
More than likely, it’s too good to be true, and they’re not who they say they are. This is definitely a dating red flag.
#4 They’re Very Inconsistent
People who are caught up in a lie are likely to slip up at some point, especially if they’ve told so many lies they can’t even remember them all.
If you suspect you’re being catfished, look for inconsistencies in their stories — oh, you went to the cinema last night? I thought you said you were working late — type of thing.
Of course, sometimes people can genuinely get confused about what they have or haven’t said over a message.
If this happens to you just once, don’t immediately think you’re being catfished. However, if it happens a few times, along with other signs, you should be wary.
#5 They Ask for Money or Gifts
If you’ve been chatting to someone for a while, and you think things are going well, but they suddenly start asking you to send them money (usually following a compelling story about a funeral of a relative, or struggles with their children), you should run for the hills.
Not only does this give big catfish signs, but it also shows they weren’t exploring a genuine connection with you; they only wanted to use you for financial gain, which is a huge kick in the teeth.
Remember, this isn’t a reflection on you as a person.
#6 They Won’t Give Up Their Socials
It’s normal for someone not to give out their social media accounts if you’ve not been chatting for long.
Privacy is a concern for some people, and being cautious when online dating is a smart move.
However, if you have been speaking for a while, things are progressing, and you’re about to plan to meet up for the first time, social media is usually shared.
Not only does this provide peace of mind to you both, but it also helps you get to know each other better. If someone refuses to share their socials, you should question their genuineness.
#7 Their Whole Story Sounds Too Good to be True
Sometimes, someone actually is all that.
So we’re not talking about getting lucky with compatible matches that make you say, “Wow, this is too good to be true!”, because sometimes these are the best matches.
We’re talking about people claiming to be Ronaldo or Kim K. It’s just not true.
If you get sucked into online dating with someone you believe to be a celebrity, even if they’re a Z-lister, and they aren’t your usual clientele, we’d recommend being extremely cautious.
We’ll get into this more later, but more and more people are using AI to pretend to be celebrities, and people are getting caught out. So, try your best not to let this happen to you.
But if you are actually chatting to a celeb (and you’ve verified it), good for you.
The Rise of AI Catfishing
Like we said earlier, we’re currently in the era of AI, and catfishers are, unfortunately, using it to their advantage.
With the rise of AI technology, it has become easier for scammers to create fake profiles and pretend to be someone they’re not.
Scammers also use chatbots powered by AI to interact with their victims. It can even mimic other people’s voices, making the catfisher appear even more real.
If you want some context, Brittany Furlan, wife of Motley Crue star Tommy Lee, was messaging who she thought was Ronnie Radke, an American singer, but it actually turned out to be a catfisher, allegedly using AI to appear like the real deal.
After a few back-and-forths to get things straightened out between the three, and getting help from the FBI, Ronnie found who was impersonating him and learned this was happening to many other girls.
This just highlights the growing concerns about the misuse of AI technology in online deception.
With the advancement of tools capable of mimicking voices, faces, and even writing styles, the lines between authenticity and lies are becoming increasingly blurred.
This is why education on the red flags is essential for stopping catfishers.
The Damaging Effects of Catfishing
Catfishing can have severe emotional and psychological consequences for its victims, especially if a ‘genuine‘ connection has blossomed.
Many individuals who have had the unfortunate experience of a catfisher often struggle with feelings of betrayal, humiliation, and profound loss of trust in others.
In worst cases, deception can lead to anxiety, depression, or even trauma, as victims come to terms with the reality that the person they connected with didn’t even exist.
Catfishing can even lead to financial losses, with some scams in place to take money from victims.
If you’re currently experiencing some of the feelings above, or you think you’ve been catfished and would like to talk to someone, please talk to a specialist organisation like Samaritans or Victim Support or talk to someone you trust.
If you haven’t already, you can report your catfisher at Action Fraud.
Conclusion: Outsmarting the Catfish
Hopefully, this guide has given you some good insights into catfishing and how to protect yourself from it.
Remember, the best way to outsmart a catfish is to stay vigilant and use common sense.
If something sounds off, it probably is.
Don’t be afraid to question someone’s identity or intentions if something doesn’t seem right, either. If they’re a genuine, decent person, they won’t mind proving themselves.
If you have been catfished, always get help and support from those close to you. Remember, it’s never your fault.
If you want to experience online dating without fear of catfishers, download Wisp and create your profile today!
Here on Wisp, every profile is verified for our users’ peace of mind. We also have strict guidelines on harassment and inappropriate behaviour to keep our users as safe and secure as possible.
We also provide you with some pretty good matches, if we do say so ourselves.
Create your Wisp profile today!
FAQs
How Do I Make Sure I’m Not Being Catfished?
To avoid being catfished you should always talk to someone who’s verified on a dating site, ask to see their social media, and never give out your personal information unless you trust them.I
f someone refuses to do these things or pressures you to give your personal information, like bank details, they could be catfishing you.
What Causes People to Catfish?
There are many reasons that cause people to catfish, from low self-esteem to wanting revenge or to inflict emotional harm.
Is Catfishing Illegal in the UK?
Catfishing itself is not always considered illegal in the UK unless it involves specific crimes, such as fraud, harassment, or identity theft.
For example, if someone uses another person’s photos or personal information to deceive others, they could violate data protection laws or commit identity fraud.
For more, we recommend heading to M19 Solutions to learn about this topic.
How Do You Spot a Catfisher?
There are many red flags that point to a catfisher to watch out for and be aware of. Some include love bombing, not wanting to share social media, and asking for money early on.
If you want to learn more red flags to avoid being catfished, head to the blog post above.